Top 50: Video Game and Video Game Moment #1

Platform: PC (though I also purchased - and beat - the Playstation version. That one was murder on the fingers.)

Absurdly Specific Genre: Weaponized Vertigo

Difficulty: 5

Beaten: Yes, literally dozens of times (I usually play through and beat it once or twice a year)

I've gone on record (if this meager blog counts as 'on record')  as saying that the N64 era represents the awkward adolescence of video games - both overly nostalgic and of questionable lasting quality. It stands to reason, then, that my favorite game of all time is a blocky, nearly plotless shooter most well known for its vertigo inducing controls and confusing level layouts.

You are....somewhere.

As far as I can tell, though, this isn't pointless nostalgia. I've played through this game many, many times, and I'm reasonably sure I know every secret the game possesses, and it still feels as fresh nearly twenty years later as it did that day that I sat down at my uncle's computer and chose to click on the icon with the little spaceship instead of the one with the guy in the crew cut and sunglasses (it's okay, I gave Duke Nukem a few days later). The level design is wonderful - if a little nausea inducing at times. If Doom had really committed to the 3D concept, I'm still not sure it could've sold it half as well as Descent did. The robot's AIs were years ahead of their time. At a time when enemies were generally meant to be bullet sponges that ran straight at you, you had silent, deadly enemies that stalked you, avoided your missile fire, and generally attempted to not get dead.

Yeah. Silent but deadly. I get it. This dude will still haunt your nightmares.

 The Descent series never seemed particularly popular. Every friend I ever showed it to played it for a while and said "yeah, that's cool, I guess, let's play Doom" (though one or two friends and I did have some epic games held via dial-up). I vaguely remember a couple of commercials for it, but anyone who was playing shooter in the mid-90s was playing Doom or Duke Nukem. Descent ended up becoming a bit of a matter of pride for my brother and I. Here was a game that forced you to use tactics, to plan your assault on a room before you ran in. The fact that no one else seemed to recognize that only made it sweeter.

I suppose this is as good a time as any to segue directly to the number one video game moment...

No spoilers. Don't worry.

Top 50 Video Games: Number 2

Platform: SNES

Absurdly Specific Genre: Emsemble cast, the RPG

Difficulty: 5 (there's a couple of fights that pack a bit of punch, but it's nothing too crazy)

Beaten: Yes

It's only now that I realize the grave error I've made in my top 50 moments list. That list is, by its very nature, more nostalgic and prone to be swayed by how I felt during the moment as it occurred. With that in mind, how on earth did I miss the introductory cutscene to this game? It's cinematic as all get out - with the three mechs overlooking the town and then making the slow walk in the snow. It's a top 30 moment for sure, and I blew it.

Maybe that's because the rest of the game does such a good job of making sure that it never lets up on the powerful moments. From  poisoning of Doma to Cyan's (all too brief) reunion with his family to the mildly terrifying first encounter with Atma/Ultima ("Feeble creatures... GO!" and the chilling boss music that plays) to the finale, when Kefka admits that at his core, he's not homicidal, he's omnicidal he just wants the whole world to burn.

Laughing all the way.

The story is epic. The music is epic - it's probably Nobuo Uematsu's best work (the way the boss theme breaks into play in any of the many times that a boss sneaks up on you is lots of fun). The characters are all rich and varied (lots of archetypes from previous Final Fantasy games, but lots of new ones, as well). 

The game itself plays beautifully, and though the second half doesn't quite live up to the first half (I always chose not to abuse the vanish/x-zone glitch, and I only taught one character Ultima, since I generally try to keep things on a non-lame level), it still has plenty of memorable parts while you get the team all back together for the final assault. I actually liked the fact that you had to split the party in three for that final attack, since I'm generally the kind of guy who likes to use all kinds of different characters, anyway.

Except Strago. Fuck that old brainwashed coot.

All of it adds up to a game that is the best game that isn't the best game ever. I play through the whole thing every couple of years, and I always find it to be a joyful, fresh experience. RPGs have gotten bigger and prettier and more complex (one last dig at the goofypants Final Fantasy XIII story, I mean, that shit was just weird). They've never topped this one. I sort of doubt they ever will.

Other Notable Final Fantasy games:

I started a new run of Final Fantasy I well after I had solidified the list, and I'm finding it to be a lot of fun. Probably not top 50 fun, but it's still a pleasant surprise.

I get Final Fantasy IV and V confused in my head a lot. It probably means I should give them both a replay. I'm thinking of starting with V, since it's been longer since I played through that one.

I'm trying to remember ever having played II or III. I can't remember details on either. Are they good?

Top 50 Video Games: Number 3

Platform: NES

Absurdly Specific Genre: Eatin' shrooms, savin' princesses...

Difficulty: 7 (if you argue for any less, you've been playing the first few worldsnot enough of that 8th world)

Beaten: Yes - probably a dozen times

This is the best platformer ever made.

I expect there to be some dissent on that particular claim, but this isn't as tied into nostalgia as one might think. Sure, there was that week or two that one summer that my brother and I awoke every morning before dawn to squeeze in a bit of time with this game - that's not an insignificant part of why I love it. Really, though, consider this...

• * There is no more precise platform game in existence . When you want to move left, you move left, when you want to jump, it happens.
• * The graphics are about as pe to conjure, and still look crisp to this day.
• * The music, while maybe not quite as classic as the original overworld theme, is still catchy and memorable.
• * The worlds are all varied, as are the variety of weird and wonderful powerups.
• * This is the game where series mainstays like a World Map, the Leaf, and my favorite... Boos.

Also. Kuriboh's Shoe. The most lethal shoe since the infamous shoe-knife.

The difficulty curve was just about perfectly paced. Early levels could be mastered by relative newbies, while later levels give me fits to this day (8-2 still me throw the occasional controller).

There's room for plenty of debate when it comes to the best game in the series. SMB2 just missed out on the top 15, the original is an absolute classic (though maybe not one that I play on a very consistent basis, as the fact that you can't change direction in midair drives me up a wall). The newer 3D offerings are tremendous games in their own right (though I haven't played a whole lot of the Galaxy series, and I don't know why). Even the new co-op game (New Super Mario Brothers Wii) is miles ahead of most platformers. The series just doesn't seem to have any room for failure (though I'll go to my grave saying that Super Mario 64 is by leaps and bounds the worst of the series), but for my money, Super Mario Brothers 3 comes out on top.

Top 50 Video Games: Number 4

Platform: SNES

Absurdly Specific Genre: Deaf-Mutes Saving the World

Difficulty: 4

Beaten: Yes

When I first came up with the idea of making this list, I knew that that it would take a while (though it has ended up taking a lot longer than I thought, because I'm lazy and time was hard to come by for a while), and there was a good chance that I was going to play some damned good games in between the initial posting of number 50 and the list's completion. So I cheated. The original list had 45, and I gambled that I'd find five additional games over the course of the list. Some games, like Red Dead Redemption, were natural fits, but I figured that this would also be a good time to revisit some classics that I was just never able to get into before to see what I'd missed. Chrono Trigger was one of those games. I got a lot more than I bargained for.

In much the same way that a visit to the millennial fair ends up being a little more exciting than planned.

I don't even know why it never clicked back in the day. I sort of recall not liking the concept art that I saw, even though the game is easily the prettiest game on the SNES. This time, though, I was hooked like I haven't been hooked by a video game in years. I got home from work and flicked on the TV, enjoying myself fully and wholeheartedly.

The music in this game is absolute top notch. Even Linds enjoyed some of the themes (she did recognize the main overworld theme from Video Games Live, so that surely helped). The different lands you travel to (and the time-travel mechanic in general) are all flawless. The characters that make up your party are well-rounded and interesting. The battle system is probably my favorite of all RPGs of any console.

You can stick a sword into an enemy's noggin then hit the sword with lightning. Best fighting ever.

It's a fair point that Lavos isn't exactly the most compelling villain - he does pretty much define "giant space flea from nowhere" - but if ever there was a game that was about the journey, and not the destination, this is it. I made sure that I hit every side mission I could possibly find, I took every chance to dive into the mythos and gameplay of the world that I was presented.

I might not have figured it all out the first time, but I'm almost glad it happened this way. I got a special experience where I wasn't expecting one, well after

Top 50 Video Games: Number 5

Platform: Xbox 360

Absurdly Specific Genre: Chatting, Exploring, and Romancing...also Saving the Galaxy...again

Difficulty: 5

Beaten: Yes

In many ways Mass Effect 2 is a lot like the first game in the series. Great dialog, deep characters, epic 'save the galaxy' plot, guns, spaceships, alien sideboob, and the like.

Note Pictured: Alien Sideboob

The first game was a top ten, though, just being 'a lot like Mass Effect' would be a noble goal, but not something that would catapult a game into the top 5. So what does the second game do better?

* Better controls (my brother played the first game and liked it, he texted me a couple weeks ago saying he was going to start the second game, he texted me not ten minutes later and said "the first thing I notice is that the controls are tons better")

* Changing from an RPG with third person shooter elements to a Third Person Shooter with RPG elements (I know a *lot* of people disliked this change, but this game needed it.)

* No Mako

* About nine hundred other things that I'm forgetting, mostly because the first to the second are fairly subtle, until you've been away from the series for a while, and have to listen to a person complaining about the things they don't like about the first game.

I lent out the trilogy to a friend a couple weeks ago, and he called me to tell me the frustrations he was dealing with in the first game. As much as I loved that game (again... top ten), I found myself constantly having to tell him "yup, that gets fixed in the second game... just trust me". There are so many things that this game does right in comparison to other games, not only in the series, but on the xbox in general, that it's not even funny.

This series is a perfect example of learning from flaws in the prior game's gameplay and building upon it (with one glaring exception that I'll be discussing in a separate post). The ability to keep your character from the first game and have the choices you made there actually matter made the whole experience feel less like different games, and more like episodes of a larger story arc (I would love to see other games take this example - absolutely love it).

There are plenty of other reasons to love this game - The Illusive Man is an excellent character that is perfectly set up for his role in the third game, the side missions (samey as they do tend to feel after a while) aren't just carbon copies of the exact same bunker like they are in the first game, going out and making party recruitment and party loyalty a series of missions, which made the process feel much more personal. It succeeds in everything that it attempts.

Bioware had the unenviable task of following up one of the best games of the console generation, and it surpassed it in nearly every way. Mass Effect 2 is my choice for the best game on the 360, and any game on the 360 or any subsequent generation will have a tough time beating it.

Rest in piece, you abominable piece of garbage

Other Notable Games in the Series:

I'm too close to Mass Effect 3 to objectively place it (I literally finished it the night before I wrote this), but I feel like it would rate somewhere in the top 15. The game itself is great - the perfect synthesis of the first two games. The stakes are crazy high, the choices carry more weight, you're forced to make the types of decisions that define this series. Without spoiling...anything really...the ending really puts a damper on things. I'll probably write more about the ending and the game in general when BioWare comes out with the new ending as DLC, because hell yes, I'm going to play through the entire series again. The game leading up to the ending is probably top 5 - the ending just sours it.

Top 50 Video Games: Number 6

Platform: Playstation 2
Absurdly Specific Genre: James Bond Meets Really Really Long Cutscenes
Difficulty: 6
Beaten: Yes

The Metal Gear Solid series is one that I've invested a lot of time in. I love so many things about the series, from the emphasis on sneaking, to the crazy bosses, to the little exclamation points that pop up above your enemies heads when you surprise them.

Day: Ruined

At the conclusion of the second game, though, everything had sort of flown off-kilter. The plot veered into ludicrous territory, and the first game's epic fight against the eponymous Metal Gear was weirdly perverted into a fight against dozens of (maybe?) virtual copies of it, and the whole thing just sort of felt like a mess. Where do you go from there? In a flash of brilliance, the minds behind the series moved the series back 40 years and into a bold, unexplored territory - the outdoors.

Certainly the series had gone outdoors before, there was a snowy machine yard in the first game, and I'm thinking you could see sky in the second game sometime.

Yeah. See? Water.

Truthfully, though, the series hadn't really ventured into actual living, breathing nature since the NES days. Metal Gear Solid 3 not only ventured there, it dove in headfirst. Wisely stealing the "how well can my enemy see me?" mechanic from the Splinter Cell games, they added a whole new (and very sensible) layer to the series. The addition of stamina I could take or leave (though it was kind of funny to see Snake messily devouring a rabbit the first couple of times), and the cutscenes still bordered on interminable, but so many things were done right that it didn't feel like it mattered.

You could eat parrots. Instant top 10 classic.

The cutscenes actually bring up the biggest thing the game did right - a clear story. Sure, there were the crazy triple-crosses and weird parts where the story went off in bizarre directions, but it all felt like it had a purpose. It was able to be boiled down to "bad guy tries to extort macguffin from shadowy agency via threat of nuclear weapons." Everything else fit within that context, and so there was no wonky "oh! nothing is real, and we're pretty sure they just said that some sort of sentient slime mold/computer program just broke the logic of the storyline" lapses.

No one really cares about any of that, though. Metal Gear Solid, as a series has always been about one thing - crazy boss fights. 3 delivers on that promise, as well, with several inventive ways to reinvent the wheel. The End is one of my favorite boss fights ever, The Sorrow is almost puzzle game-like in its mind bending solution. As for the final boss fight...well...

Metal Gear Solid 3 seems about as well done as a game in the series could possibly ever be (caveat: I've never played 4, so take that with a grain of salt, I suppose).

Other Notable Games in the Metal Gear Series:

The original Metal Gear is ridiculous. I remember playing it occasionally as a kid, and never got anywhere with it. One night, my brother and I pulled up a walkthrough, and he read it to me over the course of the evening to beat it. I still had to cheat (missed a hostage somewhere?). There were points that were kind of fun, but I wouldn't ever play it again, and it wouldn't crack my top 50 NES.

The first Metal Gear Solid, on the other hand, probably cracks the top 20 (though not the top 15, so according to the crazy and obfuscating rules I've set up for this list, it stays off). I still remember borrowing my friend's Playstation and, since I didn't have my own TV at the time, sneaking downstairs late at night to play it. It's a fantastic game, filled with memorable scenes and dialog, along with a truly white-knuckle ending.

The second Metal Gear Solid was one of the most anticipated games ever, and for quite a stretch of the game, it lives up to it. The ability to go into first person is awesome, and there are tons of little gameplay tweaks over the first game that make the first half seem like it's setting the stage for one of the best games ever.

It should be noted that I'm not completely a Raiden hater. Certainly, the dialog that he and Rose share makes me want to drill out my eardrums, but the real problem is that he has no heft as a character. There's no reason to care about anything that he's a part of, and he doesn't do anything to earn any love from the player. Any backstory ends up falling flat, and by the time the truly bizarre ending is finished masturbating itself into a coma, he's simply 'the guy who replaced Snake'. The game itself is fun, but probably features in the mid-40s.

She's either pregnant with your child, or she's the figment of someone else's imagination...

I haven't played the fourth game. I hear it's fun.

Top 50 Video Games: Number 7

Platform: Xbox 360
Absurdly Specific Genre: THE CAKE IS A LIE, LOOOOOOOOL
Difficulty: 5 (both of them featured puzzles that generally made me sit and look at them for a while, and both of them featured at least one that made me wonder what in the hell i was doing wrong)
Beaten: Yes (at least three times a piece - and co-op twice on the second game)


My friend Branny's then-girlfriend (now fiancee) knew all the memes to Portal. It was kind of annoying, actually - I pulled the game out, and she talked about companion cubes and cakes, but when she asked her if she had ever played the game, the response was a meek 'no'. Within tem minutes, she was hooked, and it was all we could do to not spoil every puzzle for her by pointing it out.

It's my opinion that Portal is the perfect game - maybe the only perfect game.

That's an odd thing to say, considering I have the pair of them at number seven, but hey, there are a lot of factors in considering these things. All of the remaining games on this list might be more dear to my heart that this pair of games, but none of them can say that they're perfect - Portal and Portal 2 can.

The first game, in particular, is the only game I can think of off the top of my head that is absolutely perfectly paced. The second game can't say that - there's a couple a points toward the end where the player is kind of ready for the whole thing to be over, no other game I know can say that. The first game has nothing I would cut, and nothing I would add. Every other game is either just a smidge too short or too long, Portal is perfect.

After this test chamber, the game's done what it came to do, anyway.

My wife might be the only living human being that hates the GLaDOS character. In her defense, she really just hates robotic sounding voices (it sounded way more robotic and artificial in the first game). When the second game's trailer came out and was shown on TV a bit, I was ecstatic. Linds just sighed and said "so I guess I have to hear her voice again". I just laughed and started saving my money.

Speaking of the things this series does right, the voice acting in both games is perfect. Sure, in the first, the only voice acting you heard was Ellen McLain's fantastic turn as the homicidal GLaDOS (she did the turret's too, if you want to be really specific), but she created a classic character. I'll wager that there isn't another voice acting job done as well in video game history as Ellen McLain did in the first Portal game (full disclosure: I haven't heard Jennifer Hale's acclaimed turn as the female version of Commander Shepard in the Mass Effect series, and judging by how I've liked her previous characters, I'm likely to enjoy that a ton).

Following up that performance in a way that lived up to it would've been a difficult thing to do. Getting three voice actors to equal it? Impossible. Until Ellen McLain, Stephen Merchant, and J.K. Simmons teamed up and did just that. The writing was top notch (the writers for the dialog have to be some of the best ever assembled), but all three actors seriously brought it, and the result was an experience that rivaled the first game's brilliance.

Demented, mildly psychotic brilliance

At the WGoM caucus in 2009, I attended without really knowing anyone. I don't even know how it happened, but I got on the subject of Portal with a guy with some crazy sideburns, and before too long, we were talking and laughing like lifelong friends. I keep in contact with him to this day.

I've gotten this far into this overview without even mentioning the gameplay in passing, and that's sort of untrue to this series. Without the gameplay, this series would've topped out in the low 20's probably. The writing and pacing and voice acting and everything in the Portal games are perfect enough to get the series by, but the games are backed up with some great first person puzzles. The whole "portal" idea is brilliant, and allows for some great puzzles (co-op really brings that out. playing alone is a blast. playing with another person in the same room while you're both trying to figure out just what in the hell is going on? completely brilliant), and the second game's addition of different gels adds a fun element to an already solid experience. Choosing between the two games would be a futile exercise, both are two parts of a whole; both are inseparable from each other..

Really, when it all comes down to it, though, this series ends up being a shared experience. It's the type of game that you want to tell others about. Great moments are shared, fun memories exchanged, it's the perfect sort of gaming melting pot, and it's hard to find another series like it. It's no wonder Portal brought about so many memes. It's the perfect breeding ground for such things. It's the perfect game, after all.

Top 50 Video Games: Number 8

Platform: Xbox 360
Absurdly Specific Genre: Grand Theft Auto with Horses*
Difficulty: 3 (this might be the easiest video game I've ever truly loved)
Beaten: Yes (to the true ending)

The cliche goes that this is Grand Theft Auto with horses. That's how the game was sold to me and part of the reason I avoided it for as long as I did, truthfully. I liked each Grand theft Auto game that I played, but only to a certain point. I didn't feel the need to rehash that formula with horses.

...then he kills the dudes and gets Don Salvatore's drug money back. I'VE PLAYED THIS GAME BEFORE, DAMMIT.

Turns out the byline was a little bit off on this one.

For as lauded as Niko Bellic's character was, I never felt a lot of pull toward him, and after a while, Grand Theft Auto IV stalled in the same "beat prostitutes senseless and steal cars and evade police" game that every other GTA game had. John Marston is different.

Make no mistake, Red Dead Redemption is a game that intends to break your heart. What surprised me at first was how much the game made me care about the characters. When Bonnie gets you back on your feet, you care about her when local ruffians start shit with her. Marston goes from merely being the anti-hero protagonist to a tragic figure you can't help but wish good toward.  You actually care about his quest to get his wife and son back. Sure, you're willing to do some pretty shady things to facilitate that, but as opposed to every other game of its ilk, it feels strangely necessary. John Martson will be reunited with his family, and he won't let anything - including his conscience - get in the way of that goal.

Gameplay is, in and of itself, extremely entertaining. There's seemingly no limit to the mischief (and semi-honest fun) you can get into when riding the open range. The randomized events that happen from time to time keep the world feeling alive and vital. Horse riding itself feels a little cludgy at first, but quickly becomes second nature (especially once you get an actual decent horse).

I've already discussed my two favorite moments (here and here) in the 'moments' list, but there's truthfully dozens that could be brought up - the sun showing up as you clear the final hill on the path to Blackwater (that was mostly luck, it happened to be evening when I made that trip for the first time), the way you can whistle for your horse when a thief tries to steal it (causing your horse to buck the would-be thief off), playing poker, the way the music starts back up on your ride back to your ranch.

John Marston is just a cinematic kind of dude.

This game achieves more than I could have possibly expected. The characters are top notch, the music is excellent, the story is gutting, but wonderful. This is far from being "Grand Theft Auto with horses". his is the type of game Grand Theft Auto should be aspiring to take a page from.

Top 50 Video Games: Number 9

Platform: Xbox 360
Absurdly Specific Genre: Chatting, Exploring, and Romancing...also Saving the Galaxy 
Difficulty: 5
Beaten: Yes

It's a fairly common story at this point, but it holds true again. This one didn't click for me the first time I tried it. There are a variety of reasons why, the Mako (thankfully removed in later games in the series) was unwieldy and annoying, the checkpoint system was dreadful (generally due to the Mako. One of the earlier planets featured a 10-15 minute long run in the Mako, only to be ambushed by a huge force while on foot... hope you enjoyed driving around the ATV), and the inventory was beyond ridiculous. I sort of understood the hype for it, but I just couldn't agree with it.

On the one hand: epic plot, great characters, fun gameplay, on the other hand... this piece of shit

Then I saw Mass Effect 2 on sale for $15 at the local game store and picked it up on a whim. Not wanting to play through it blind, I gave the first another try. The problems were still problematic (more than once, I got killed, cursing the fact that I hadn't saved for quite a while, and the autosave wasn't generous enough to do anything but send me back to the beginning of the level), but everything else about the game started shining. First off, the storytelling is fantastic, and the characters are excellent. The choices you make have weight (this becomes doubly obvious in later games in the series, but would be true even if this were only a standalone game). Shepard (a nicely obvious name) is a great protagonist, and you're able to craft the character exactly how you imagine him to be. Overthoughtful pussy? Abrasive asshole? Something in between? - totally up to you. I admitted in my writeup of Fallout 3 that I'm a conversation junkie. This game (and indeed, this whole series) is like talking porn for me. There's always someone to chat with, with conversations that adapt depending on how you react.

Pointless, you blue whore, just pointless.

As far as the storyline goes, the whole thing feels epic, without feeling forced. Saren makes for a good antagonist, and the Reapers make for an excellent switchout, without feeling like a contrived 'man behind the man' like some Final Fantasy bosses tend to. The final fight (which I won't go into too much depth about, since it's kind of spoiler-laden) is tremendous fun, and the denouement feels less like the end of a great game, and more like the start of an truly amazing series.


Come to think of it, that's exactly what it was.

Top 50 Video Games: Number 10

Platform: Xbox 360
Absurdly Specific Genre: Living, chatting, and murdering in the End of the World
Difficulty: 5
Beaten: Yes

Oblivion always annoyed me. It looked beautiful, had a believable enough world with which to play, and had a host of interesting things you could do in that world. Yet I could never make it more than about two or three hours into it before turning it off. It wasn't just that I lost interest - I was actively repulsed by the game. I tried to reason why that might be. The best answer I ever came up with was the it was just squirrely (this is actually the same reason I ended up putting down why I was never able to make it more than a few levels into Descent 3).

Therefore, it seems odd that Fallout 3 would be one of my favorite games of all time. After all, it's been called 'Oblivion with guns', and that's not at all a unjust descriptor. It has that same 'squirreliness' built into it that made Oblivion unplayable. So, why is it Top Ten material?

I mean, other than the fact that you get to battle giant scorpions...

A large part of this is due to the level that the game wants immerse you right from the beginning. This game is about exploding heads, talking with every single passerby (I am obsessive about talking to everyone in any video game that allows me to do so, Fallout ends up being conversation porn), and just being a badass in general. More than anything, though, Fallout 3 is about immersion. The game starts as you are being born, and through a series of quick flashes, teaches you the basics of the game while at the same time building the world around you. By the time you break out of the vault you've lived in your entire life, it feels like a big deal. The way the screen goes completely white when you step into the sunshine for the first time in your life is a brilliant and understated method of making sure you identify with your character... and the game is only beginning.

It would all be for nothing if the gameplay was bad, but the VATS system really made it work for me. It adds a dimension of RPG-style chance to the proceedings, while maintaining the first person view. Some people didn't care for this, prefering a straight FPS experience, and that's okay, you were never forced to go into VATS, it was simply there for you if you needed it. For me, it took the squirreliness out of the game and let me soak in the ambiance that the game fed off of.

Like Moira, your friendly neighborhood Minnesota stereotype

The music was just the final piece in a perfect puzzle. Nothing said 'hell yeah, fuckin' right' like killing raiders in the moonlight as Bob Crosby sang about life 'Way Back Home'.  I might never figure out exactly what it is that makes Oblivion not work for me, but I have no problem figuring out what made Fallout 3 perfect. Every action had meaning, every conversation carried significance. The game tossed you into life after the end of the world, and made you feel like you were there.

Top 50 Video Games: Number 11

Platform: Xbox 360
Absurdly Specific Genre: Dudes in Camo Shooting Guys
Difficulty: 7 (the final mission, in particular contains one particular structure of halls that made me want to find the level designer and punch them in the head)
Beaten: Yes

Despite what this list might look like at a glance, I'm not really that into first person shooters - especially the "you are a nameless, faceless soldier in the armed forces tasked with shooting all the enemies until you win" subgenre. By my count, only four of the games on this list are traditional first person shooters. This one just so happens to be the best of them.

To most players of video games, the draw to this game was the immersive multiplayer. I suppose I get that, and I pumped in a fair number of hours into that portion of the game, myself (disappointing countless teammates in the process, I'm sure). It certainly has more appeal in this regard than most standard deathmatches of its ilk. The controls are sharp, the kills are quick, and you can generally figure out your own style of play.

I was always a proponent of the "got shot and die" school.

The part of the game that really grabbed me, though, was the single player. Unlike its also-pretty-damned-good sequel, the first Modern Warfare game has a lean, fierce story that it tells with minimal narrative trickery. There are no crazy double-crosses, no convoluted and unrealistic motivations to decipher. This helps what shocking moments there are to be magnified.

All of that would be for nothing if the gameplay wasn't top notch, but it's a Call of Duty game, all they did was take the already tight combat out of the 40's, and bring it to the "twenty minutes from now" scenario. In short, I don't see how any standard FPS could ever beat this. I'd certainly love see one try, but it's going to be a tall order.

Other Games in the Series: I played the older Call of Duty games, but by then, I'd played every variation of Omaha Beach that I ever care to, so the WWII games don't do it for me.

Modern Warfare 2 came pretty close top cracking the top 15, ludicrous plot and all for one huge reason - tactical ops mode. Playing thirty-some short, intense co-op missions with a friend is incredibly thrilling, and kept me coming back long after Branny and I had beaten them all. In the end, though, the story isn't nearly as good, and not a lot of new things were brought to the fabled multiplayer.

I haven't actually played Modern Warfare 3 yet. I've been pretty good about avoiding spoilers, so hopefully it's decent. Since by now I have zero interest in the multiplayer, I'd probably just rent it during a weekend where I have a lot of time on my hands...

Top 50 Video Games: Number 12

Platform: SNES
Absurdly Specific Genre: It's a mario game. You eat shrooms, you save princesses.
Difficulty: 5 (though it ratchets to ridiculous levels if you do some of those Star Road levels)
Beaten: Yes, many many times

The NES Mario games are absolute classics, but this is the game that crystallized what a Super Mario game was all about. The already excellent controls were tightened even further, the powerups were expanded, and he got a sidekick (other than Luigi, of course).

There's really very little else to say. This was the last game of the proper 2D era, to be followed by the nostalgia-goggled Mario 64. It's always ended up feeling vastly underrated, though that's probably not the case.

All I really know is that when Linds and I picked up an SNES when we first started going out, this was the game we picked up first. Its replay value may as well be infinite.

Plus, it has giant Bullet Bills. This game is awesome.

Other Games in the Super Mario Brothers Series:

As a quick programming note, I'll this list's policy on multiple games from the same series. Over most of the list, I've decided against it. I don't really want seven Final Fantasy games on here, as it's a lot more interesting to talk about different games. For the top 15, though, I'm making exceptions to that rule. I figure if it's good enough to love that much, it's good enough to be talked about, redundancy be damned. So, for the top 15, there'll be a few games from the same series. This is a weird rule I've made up but... deal with it.

I suppose I'll probably talk about the SMB games that didn't make the list when the next game pops up on the list.

Top 50 Video Games: Number 13

Platform: Playstation
Absurdly Specific Genre: Crazy haired dudes and big noobered chicks fighting crazy haired dudes
Difficulty: 7 (I specifically avoided too much side-questing in the main game the first time around so that the final few bosses would be an actual challenge. As a result, I was pretty under-leveled for the final run, and it ended up being pretty taxing)
Beaten: Yes

What exactly can be said about this game?

If you've ever played a video game, you've almost certainly heard of it. You've probably played it. You've probably beaten it. Between certain blonde chicks dying off and certain white haired dudes with improbably long swords, there's not much about the game that hasn't been rendered cliche, myth, or video game canon.

Not that this is always a bad thing...

At its base, it's a fairly standard JRPG - lots of leveling, ambiguous plot, wacky hair. I can't even say there's a wealth of additional things that would make a person think that this game was anything other than hardcore nostalgia goggles and massive overhype.

The only problem with that theory is that I never even played it all the way through until 7 or 8 years ago. I'd seen the commercials for it back in 1997. I'd watched as a friend of mine showed me a bit of gameplay (I think it was the bizarre snowboarding part that never really made much sense to me), I remember thinking that it looked pretty cool, but I didn't have a Playstation, and once I bought a PS2, there were lots of other games that vied for my attention. I bought a copy, played around with it a little bit, got past the famous scene with backs and swords, and drifted on to other endeavors shortly thereafter.

A couple of years later, I picked it back up and started from scratch. This time, it stuck. The combat was fun, the writing - while still a little stilted and incomprehensible in proper Final Fantasy tradition - just sort of clicked this time around. I played for hours a night. My current wife (then girlfriend) would roll her eyes and complain about the music (she's crazy, btw. "One Winged Angel" might be a little overrated, but the soundtrack on whole is top notch). It was an immersive experience, one that matched up easily with the best that the newer consoles had to offer.

Last year, I gave it another run through, and guess what...it still does.

The Honeybee Inn sequence is still a hundred kinds of weird, though.

Other Notable Games in the Series: Final Fantasy X is a much better game than a lot of people gave it credit for back in the day. Sure, some of the voice acting is terrible (the laughing scene, *shudder*), but it packed an emotional punch on a personal level that I'm not sure any of the games since then have managed, I had it ranked in the mid-40's.

Final Fantasy XII was fun, and tried new things game-wise, but for some reason, I never got the bug. I should go back over it and actually try to beat it, because I never even came all that close. What I did play makes me think that it might be top 100, but I'd be hard pressed to put it in just yet.

Final Fantasy XIII had a few hours of gameplay that were absolutely fantastic (basically everything on Gran Pulse). Too bad those few hours of fun were wrapped in 30-some hours of linear slog, which itself was wrapped in a utterly nonsensical and borderline meaningless story (try to explain the ending in a way that a) makes sense and b) doesn't invalidate the entire rest of the game's plot). Not in the top 100.

Top 50 Video Games: Number 14

Platform: Xbox 360
Absurdly Specific Genre: Refuting Ayn Rand, the video game
Difficulty: It *would* have a fair bit of bite except for reasons I'll get into. We'll say 6.
Beaten: Yes

When I sat down to create this list, this is the game that gave me fits. The atmosphere and story merited a pretty obvious inclusion in the top 50, and the twist demanded respect. The real question was whether or not the gameplay was all that great. I realize that it's cut from a similar cloth of old survival horror FPSes like System Shock (of course, the fact that it's a spiritual sequel to that game helps clarify that link), but the near perpetual ammo shortage always seemed odd (particularly considering there were vending machines that sold ammo littering the halls of the supposed utopia). Also (and I'll be getting into this a bit later in a non-spoilery way) the final boss fight is incredibly dumb.

Then I thought of the Big Daddy fights.

Oh. Uh. Hi there.

The Big Daddies are the sworn protectors of the little sisters, and care for nothing short of their safety. Should you leave the sisters alone, you'll never run afoul of the enormous suit-clad monsters. You could technically beat the game having not ruffled a single hair on the little sisters' heads. Of course, by doing so, you would be passing up both a ton of powerups and the best part of the game's combat. Before starting one of these epic miniboss fights, you needed to have a plan.

"Taking a drill through the chest" ranks very low on the list of proper strategies.

When you started a fight, the Big Daddies brought hell. The fights themselves were grueling, but incredibly satisfying, and when they finally fell, you felt as though you had accomplished something. The best part? You got to do it two or three times a level.

That doesn't even touch on the expertly creepy atmosphere of the ruined city. Rapture might be a deathtrap littered with psychotic freaks and John Galt stand ins, but it's a fallen paradise that you want to explore every part of. The recordings are fascinating, offering little tidbits of insight into Rapture, how great it was, and how it fell.

The story is, of course, the highlight, and the pacing is very well done (mostly). Andrew Ryan is a compelling enemy, and layered characters like Dr. Tenenbaum make the player want to delve further and further into the twisted backstory. The twist is what gets the most discussion, but with very few exceptions, the whole game is on key.

Now, on to those exceptions...

The vita chambers are... mixed blessings. On the one hand, they allow for the fights against the big daddies to be brutal events without ever succumbing to utter frustration. Unfortunately, since they don't give you your ammo back (while simultaneously keeping the damage you've already put on your enemy), resulting in some fights that turned into slogfests. I had a lot more fun with the game once I turned them off.

The end fight flat sucks, and makes no sense in the context of the game. The game attempted to keep a subdued, dark atmosphere through the entire game. The final boss is bizarre and inhuman, with a mechanic that doesn't even have a good explanation in game. The end cutscene is pretty awesome (and quite touching, should you have been a decent individual), but it doesn't really make up for the final boss.

Even with all of that, Bioshock is a fantastic game, and well deserving of its elite status. How could I have ever doubted it?

Top 50 Video Games: Number 15

 Platform: Xbox 360
Absurdly Specific Genre: Hack'n'Slash'n'Chat'n'RPG
Difficulty: For being an RPG, it's got some bite to it. I'll give it a '7'.
Beaten: Yes

The acronym 'RPG' ostensibly stands for 'Role Playing Game'. That's nice, but it seems that in most RPGs of the 'hack'n'slash' and fantasy varieties define the player's role as 'dude who swings the sword'. Characterization has never really been a strong suit in most hack'n'slashes. Luckily, Bioware has never shied away from strong characters.

I'm not sure why it took me so long to give Dragon Age a try. It got great reviews and it's got all the proper Bioware (my favorite developer) hallmarks. I suppose I'd just been annoyed by one too many Lord of the Rings-style fantasy games - see a billion enemies, hack them to pieces, skip every cutscene. Thankfully, Dragon Age never succumbed to that.

Okay, so you probably couldn't tell the two apart based on this screenshot. Trust me - it's much cooler.

The dialog trees might not be quite as complex as KotOR or Mass Effect, but they have a lot of sway on the course of the game. Be a annoying do-gooder who does every single side quest for every single villager, and you'll annoy Morrigan to no end. Kick puppies left and right, and Allistair will get pissed off. It's a nice bit of depth in a genre that usually doesn't allow for it.

Oh, come on, Ms. Crabbypants, you know you want to help Billy find his pet puppy.

I don't know that there's one particular part that Dragon Age: Origins does that much better than anything else, but the combined finished product is far above and beyond the hallmarks of the Dark Fantasy genre.

Top 50 Video Games: Number 16

Platform: Just about every platform I've ever owned or played a video game on
Absurdly Specific Genre: Being the best 3D platformer/shooter ever - that's not really a genre, is it.
Difficulty: From 1 to 10, depending on how fast that damn block is dropping
Beaten: A close as it can be, I suppose.

Seven shapes. One goal. Endless permutations. A video game that has pretty transcended the medium (admit it, you don't even really think about it as a video game anymore).

Tetris is, of course, the game that most of us can play by now simply by closing our eyes. It's the first game in which I had even a modicum of skill.

The elegance of the game is obviously is absolute simplicity. A child can learn to play passably within minutes, yet a player who has been playing for years can be tripped up in a humblingly short period of time with just a few bad blocks (usually those damned 'S' and 'Z' blocks).

Yeah, screw you. You're not welcome here - and by 'here', I mean 'anywhere'.

I haven't played the game properly in a long time now, but the next time I do, I'll feel that same exact way that I have on countless occasions - enthralled, with nothing required of me but reflexes, and all manner of enjoyment to gain. Tetris is no ordinary timewaster, it's the supreme timewaster. None can hope to match it.

Now, if I could just get that 'l' block...

Top 50 Video Games: Number 17

Platform: Playstation 2
Absurdly Specific Genre: Being the best 3D platformer/shooter ever - that's not really a genre, is it.
Difficulty: 5-ish, I think?
Beaten: Yes.

I'll level with you. I know the following things about this game/series:

• * It's my favorite 3D Platformer/Shooter
• * It's a better series than Jak and Daxter
• * This is the best game in the series of the ones that I've played (the first three).
• * I absolutely loved this game when I played it.

Unfortunately, it falls in the same mental hole that Jak 2 does. I remember particular parts of the game (the ending, the vid comics, and some of the basic gameplay), but the gameplay by and large escapes me.

Worse still, I can't just pull it off the shelf and play it, because I lent all three games out to a friend of mine, who never returned them (I found out later that he forgot that they were mine and sold them at a yard sale).

I certainly plan on purchasing all three games again. I loved these games. The excellent mix of self-aware humor and kickassery; the RYNO (one of my very favorite weapons); the little segments where you had to play as Clank... everything about this series was spot on.

Ah, I should go play them all front to back right now......

...oh, wait.

Top 50 Video Games: Number 18

Platform: Xbox 360
Absurdly Specific Genre: Punching evil in the face.
Difficulty: For as good a game as it was, it was pretty easy.I'd give it a 4.
Beaten: Yes.

To say that I was skeptical of Arkham Asylum going into it is an understatement. The only other Batman game I had ever played was the Batman Begins licensed game, and that was pretty bad. From the opening cutscene to Arkham Asylum, though, the game sucks you in. I greatly enjoy the "playable cutscene" style of plot advancement, where the game gives you control of the character during a cutscene and lets you look around and move during it. This game features that feature better than just about any game I can think of.


The gameplay is a great mixture of brawling and stealth (the stealth becoming particularly important later, as Joker's henchmen begin to amp up their firepower). There's a real feeling of badassery as you hide in the rafters of rooms, swooping down on the increasingly terrified thugs.

Currently: Terrified       About to be: Unconcious

While the Joker's nefarious plot is predictably not what it appears at first glance, the plot never really overdoes itself. The voice acting is all fantastic, with Kevin Conroy (Batman) and Mark Hamill (Joker) really playing well off of each other (particularly in one fantastic scene earlier in the game, where the Joker stands on a precarious edge and dares Batman to knock him off to his doom. We all know he won't do it, but as the game goes on, you get the feeling that he almost regrets not taking the opportunity). As the Joker takes over more and more of the asylum and reveals more and more of his plan, the stakes do actually feel effectively raised.

The brawling is great, but the boss fights unfortunately lag a little bit, with most of them falling into the "hit the boss with a batarang as he charges you, then wail on him once he runs into the wall". It would've been nice to have boss fights that felt as epic as the game that surrounded them (especially the final boss), but it's a comparatively minor quibble. When you've got a game as smooth and badass as Arkham Asylum, it's tough to argue for better.

If you're bringing a game like Arkham Asylum, it's a fair trade.

Other Notable Games in the Arkham Asylum Series: So, there's a fairly high profile sequel to this game, and I got it for Christmas from my brother in law. I haven't played it yet, because I was playing Chrono Trigger, then got busy with other real life concerns. I've heard a lot of good things, and some unsettling things (particularly unsettling, because these are the exact things I was worried about when I heard that Arkham City was going to be more open world. Arkham Asylum was great enough that I'll certainly play it, and I do anticipate that I'll enjoy it, but I can't see it being anywhere near as good as the first game.