People on the Internet Say Dumb Things

It's no secret that internet message boards are breeding grounds for stupidity. That's a given, but in an article written on Wednesday, a commenter wrote one of the stupidest things I've ever read written about baseball.

How about trading A-rod for Gary Matthews, straight up?

This would be, without question, the worst trade ever made in any sport. Ever. Even if he were the worst fielding third baseman in baseball (which, I assure you, he isn't), here's how he ranks in a few key offensive stats:

AVG - .308 (10th, just 15 points behind the leader)
OBP - .397 (7th)
SLG - .586 (2nd, a mere 3 points behind Milton Bradley)
OPS - .983 (T-2nd)
HR - 28 (5th)

...but yeah, trading that for a guy who's hitting .224/.330/.306 and is a full year older than A-Rod makes perfect sense.

I know Matthews is nothing special, but it would be addition by subtraction for NY.

I love how he notes that Matthews is 'nothing special'. It should be noted that the player who has 546 home runs in his career, the guy who should have been last year's unanimous MVP (Maglio's great, but anyone who gave him the top vote last year should have their voting privilages revoked) is pretty damn special. Plus, with the aforementioned stats backing me up, I would say he's not anywhere near the heavy decline phase yet. If Cashman were anywhere remotely near this stupid, Billy Smith should get on the phone and arrange a trade Nick Punto for Jeter, Joba Chamberlain, and Mariano Rivera (who'd make a damn good setup guy to the best closer in the majors).

He goes on to make a decent point about Jeter being awful at defense, then makes a couple of bizzare points about moving Jeter to left, moving Posada to first, and apparently having Matsui and Giambi (good hitters and lousy fielders both) fight to the death over who gets to DH.

People, seriously. You need to get this through your heads: A-Rod is the best baseball player in the major leagues. I think he's kind of a douche, and he doesn't play the media game nearly as well as Jeter, but come on.

(note: 'Pulling a Golokhov' tag used in reference to this article, where Dave Golokhov inexplicably listed the Twins as one of the 10 worst franchises in professional sports. Something the fine writers at FireJoeMorgan had a field day with - as did I in my not nearly as witty or clever diatribe. I'll be using this tag whenever anyone says anything so impossibly stupid that it's obvious they can't be serious.)

What's More Surprising...

...the fact that I'm posting twice in one day? Or the fact that I've found 2 things which piss me off enough to deem them 'cockflickery'??

Anyway, Dave Golokhov (of the bastion of knowledge that is askmen.com) has deemed the Minnesota Twins the 7th worst franchise in all of professional sports. Just read what Mr. Golokhov has to say...

"Moneyball" is to baseball what frugal is to cheap; it's a creative way of saying, "we're not going to pay for our stars or reward our veterans who have earned their keep." Sabermetrics and scientific stats are used to evaluate players and give a better indication of their worth, but teams like the Minnesota Twins use this strategy to kiss their superstars goodbye at the trade deadline or the first day of free agency. The Twins constantly sell proven veterans for prospects and draft picks, but when those youngsters finally develop, they get shipped away to start the cycle again. The Twins incessantly look to the future and winning now is not a priority. Translation: the Twins care more about the dollars than about winning.

Alright, so I - being a big fan of the Minnesota Twins - am aware that I'm a touch biased here, but what in the ever-loving hell?? I realize that it's frustrating that we lose great players. Did losing Torii hurt? Sure, (though, in reality, I think Gomez is going to be an unbelievably talented player in his own right) there's no way he deserved $90 million, though, and I can't fault the Twins at all for not paying him that amount. Did losing Santana hurt? Of course, he's - bar none - the best pitcher in baseball, but he just signed for an all-time record for a pitcher (and we got the aforementioned Gomez plus two other nice prospects for him, we didn't get full value, but we hardly got robbed). I fail to see how either of those losses make the Twins the 4th worst team in baseball. To be fair, I'm just trying to understand which team he's talking about.

• The team that, since 2001, has a record of 551-452 (meaning they win 55% of their games)
• The team that has won the toughest division in baseball 4 of the last 6 years
• The team that has won the World Series twice in the last 20 years
• The team that is in first place at the moment this article was conceived in this cockflicker's disturbed little mind

Yeah, I'd say he's out of his damned mind.

You, sir have just taken the cockflickery cake. Take a bow, Mr. Golokhov, you have no earthly idea what you're talking about.

This just in! Every team that is not the Yankees is the worst team in baseball, because they didn't give Carl Pavano 40 million dollars.