I've already got this figured out. In ten years, when I'm 35, I will grow a killer mustache/goatee combo. People will, of course, attribute this to a mid-life crisis and a vain attempt to recapture the vitality of youth.
What they won't realize is that I just wasn't awesome enough to properly rock the kickass mustache/goatee combo until this point. It's not a mid-life crisis - it's a mid-life awesome.
While I think I'll be able to grow a sufficiently bushy scrub, it will take a long time, and it will look truly hideous in the meantime. Because of this, if you hear that I've disappeared for about 3 months around the time I turn 35, this will be why.
Showing posts with label miscellaneous. Show all posts
Showing posts with label miscellaneous. Show all posts
Sunday, June 28, 2009
Friday, June 26, 2009
The Star Tribune is Poorly Edited
From today's Star Tribune:
Who is Steve Zahn?
The "Jeopardy" answer is: He's that Minnesota-bred actor who's now Jennifer Aniston's leading man.
What? No... That is not the "Jeopardy" answer. That is just a normal question, followed by an answer to that question.
For reference, Jeopardy switches around the questions and the answers for no good reason. I don't know how a person could possibly have looked at that and thought "Having never seen Jeopardy, I'm going to reference the popular game show, and incorrectly. People will love me."
Is this nitpicking? Yes, but come ON, man... have you ever even seen Jeopardy?
Who is Steve Zahn?
The "Jeopardy" answer is: He's that Minnesota-bred actor who's now Jennifer Aniston's leading man.
What? No... That is not the "Jeopardy" answer. That is just a normal question, followed by an answer to that question.
For reference, Jeopardy switches around the questions and the answers for no good reason. I don't know how a person could possibly have looked at that and thought "Having never seen Jeopardy, I'm going to reference the popular game show, and incorrectly. People will love me."
Is this nitpicking? Yes, but come ON, man... have you ever even seen Jeopardy?
Monday, June 1, 2009
Snipers on the Auction Seas (A Tragedy in 3 Acts)
Act I (In Which Our Hero Spies the Item of His Desires)
The Protagonist is perusing eBay. He spies a copy of Quarashi's self-titled debut CD.
The Protagonist: I need to buy this!
Chorus: When last you saw this item, it sold for $90. Your coffers are far too bare for such an undertaking.
The Protagonist: Nonsense! I'd never forgive myself if I didn't at least make an attempt.
Chorus: Then make your attempt, though it be in vain.
The Protagonist: I need to buy this!
Chorus: When last you saw this item, it sold for $90. Your coffers are far too bare for such an undertaking.
The Protagonist: Nonsense! I'd never forgive myself if I didn't at least make an attempt.
Chorus: Then make your attempt, though it be in vain.
Chorus: Fifty dollars is a foolish number. It is neither so small as to be sensible, nor so large as to assure victory. Your efforts are both wasted and unwise.
The Protagonist: Not at all! See there? The bid is only at thirteen dollars right now.
Chorus: Four days yet remain. Temper your unchecked optimism.
Act II (In Which Ominous Signs Gather)
Chrous: This ought to be good.
The Protagonist: I'm buying a CD.
The Wife: Why are you telling me this?
The Protagonist: It's sort of an expensive CD.
The Wife: What do you mean? How expensive?
The Protagonist: My high bid is fifty dollars?
The Wife: ...
The Protagonist: The current bid is only fifty dollars....wait....never mind it's at fifty dollars.
The Wife: ...
The Protagonist: Don't worry, it's a collectors item - any serious Quarashi fan would pay this much and more.
The Chorus: You talk about "serious Quarashi fans" as if they are tangible things that exist in this world.
The Wife: Are you out of your mind?
The Chorus: Our thoughts are akin.
Act III (In Which Hope Is Dashed Upon the Rocks)
The Protagonist: With one minute on the clock, I'm still in the lead.
Chorus: Sixty seconds is an eternity in this place.
{Forty Seconds Pass}
Masked eBay Sniper the first: I strike! Sixty dollars!
Masked eBay Sniper the second: HA! I strike! Seventy dollars!
The Protagonist: Wait! NO!
Chorus: Fifty dollars was already a fortune. Seventy would be too foolish even for you. Will you relent?
The Protagonist: Yes.
The Protagonist: This is ridiculous! The eBay system is built along the concept of a maximum bid being the highest you will pay for a given item. What point is there in this pointless sniping? If the user had placed seventy dollars as his maximum bid in the beginning, they still would probably have won the CD, and I wouldn't have had to go through all this nonsense. I'm sure it saved them a dollar or two, but so what? Stupid. I hate snipers.
Chorus: You are merely angry because it's a legitimate strategy and you're neither wealthy nor savvy enough to take advantage of it.
Chorus: Sixty seconds is an eternity in this place.
{Forty Seconds Pass}
Masked eBay Sniper the first: I strike! Sixty dollars!
Masked eBay Sniper the second: HA! I strike! Seventy dollars!
The Protagonist: Wait! NO!
Chorus: Fifty dollars was already a fortune. Seventy would be too foolish even for you. Will you relent?
The Protagonist: Yes.
The Protagonist: This is ridiculous! The eBay system is built along the concept of a maximum bid being the highest you will pay for a given item. What point is there in this pointless sniping? If the user had placed seventy dollars as his maximum bid in the beginning, they still would probably have won the CD, and I wouldn't have had to go through all this nonsense. I'm sure it saved them a dollar or two, but so what? Stupid. I hate snipers.
Chorus: You are merely angry because it's a legitimate strategy and you're neither wealthy nor savvy enough to take advantage of it.
{PAUSE}
Chorus: Well?
The Protagonist: And what if I am?
Our hero resumes his searches, knowing them to be in vain.
Friday, May 8, 2009
Great Moment in Google Search Terms, Volume 1
To whoever got here using a search for "ladybugs mating in a music video", I'm not sure what exactly you may have been looking for, but it seems unlikely that you found it here. Here's hoping that your search came to fruition at some point.
Also... it seems you found my site about 48 pages into the search. I don't mean to pontificate, but who searches through 48 pages of Google results for "ladybugs mating in a music video"? Who even wants to see that that badly?
Thursday, October 30, 2008
Boo!
Went over to the In-Laws' to carve pumpkins tonight. I carved 'Boo' from the Super Mario Brothers series. I'm pretty pleased with the way he turned out - you be the judge (click to enlarge).
I think it turned out nicely. Before anyone asks, yes, it's based off a stencil - but one that I modded a bit. I like the way the tongue turned out.
As a special bonus, Linds made a spider... Linds obviously knows the full meaning of the word 'irony', as she HATES spiders.
Wednesday, September 10, 2008
I May Be a Heartless Person
...but I found the mental environment I had in my head after reading this article a tad amusing.
Not so much the inexorable slow separation of son and father - which would, most certainly, be one of the top ten worst feelings a person could ever have. It's just that the thought of remedying that separation by shouting Disney catch-phrases strikes me as a little hilarious.
Glad the story had a happy ending.
Thursday, April 24, 2008
Vehicle Issues
So, my car started making a clicking sound a week or two ago. Eh, whatever... I thought something was a little odd about that, so I got an appointment to have it looked at.
I get a call back yesterday, bearing the fantastic news that my clutch is blown and I'll need a new one.... $800. Fantastic.
I get a call back today, bearing the even better news that my transmission is also dead, and I'll need a new one.... $1600. Even more fantastic.
I think the next couple of months could be a lot of fun.
Monday, March 17, 2008
Saturday, January 12, 2008
Wait... What?
While unpacking boxes in my office, I found a list I must have made in 3rd grade. It reads...
Paul Revere ("british are coming" guy)
George Washington (first president)
Babe Ruth (home-run hitter from back in the day)
Jimmy Stewart (great actor)
Abraham Lincoln (beard-faced president, fond of top hats)
Lou Gehrig (Hall of Fame baseball player, has crippling disease named after him)
Randy Stonehill (one of the so-called "fathers of contemporary Christian music.")
Whomever can explain what the common between those people is, I'm all ears. I mean... Randy Stonehill?
Note: I've put up the MP3 links on my 'Top 20 Albums of 2007' post. Go there, and see (and hear)what music I enjoyed this past year.
Paul Revere ("british are coming" guy)
George Washington (first president)
Babe Ruth (home-run hitter from back in the day)
Jimmy Stewart (great actor)
Abraham Lincoln (beard-faced president, fond of top hats)
Lou Gehrig (Hall of Fame baseball player, has crippling disease named after him)
Randy Stonehill (one of the so-called "fathers of contemporary Christian music.")
Whomever can explain what the common between those people is, I'm all ears. I mean... Randy Stonehill?
Note: I've put up the MP3 links on my 'Top 20 Albums of 2007' post. Go there, and see (and hear)what music I enjoyed this past year.
Sunday, August 26, 2007
Baseball, Underground Rap, and So Much More
Curse You, Twins...
Just when I'd succesfully written off the Twins for this season and started reaming of glorious 2008 - just think, a rotation of Santana, Liriano, Garza, Baker, and Silva/Bonser/Slowey/Perkins... *drool* - they start winning games and Cleveland and Detroit start playing like they were based out of Kansas City andMontreal Washington. I wasn't about to stop watching Twins' games (much to Lindsey's chagrin), but being a mere 5.5 games back has sparked a little more interest in each individual game than was present over the last few weeks. There's only one problem...
It's all pointless...
2006, the year that we improbably stormed back from being over 10 game sback at the all-star break to win the division on the last day of the season, actually proved that we don't have the team to do anything more than embarass ourselves even if we were to make the playoffs. We weren't necessarily a better team last year - our lineup, up until Castillo got traded, was very similar to its 2006 counter part - but we were a much luckier team. Nick Punto gets most of the heat; after all, it's only an occasional act of God that bumps his average above .200, but really, any team that features a DH tag team of Garrett Jones (5 for 39), Rondell White (.138), and Jason Tyner (1 career homerun... poor Jake Westbrook) is in for a tough time. No one can be too upset for at least starting the year hoping Punto would hit .290 again, but to have no one as a legitimate backup (along with having no DH to speak of) has doomed us to some of the most pathetic games I've seen (and, subsequently, pretty much doomed the 2007 season). Even if we were to get into the playoffs, we're not the type of team that could take on the Red Sox, Angels, or, as we recently saw, Mariners of the league.
I say, get all of this out of our system this season. Let the Watkins, Jones, and Buschers have their shot. After all, we may just find something interesting. When they show that they're not really major league material, though, we need to move on. The Timberwolves finally lost Garnett, having nearly completely wasted the talent of one of the best players in the NBA for over a decade, Morneau, Mauer, Santana, and Hunter (amongst a large number of others) deserve to be surrounded with players who can actually fight for a World Series, not just a weak stab at a playoff spot.
Things You Should Really Be Listening To
CDs I've picked up lately that merit at least a passing glance:
El-P - I'll Sleep When You're Dead
Being on somewhat of an underground rap kick lately, and having heard a lot of buzz about this guy, I picked up the CD. Great stuff. I love the production and the bleak, angry lyrics.
Download El-P - The league of Extraordinary Nobodies
mewithoutyou - Brother, Sister
This CD ended up on my Top 10 list from last year, but I hadn't listened to it in a while. It landed at number 10 at the time, but giving it several listens since, it would probly rank higher were the list compiled today. Nearly every song is engaging, and some of them are absolutely golden.
MF Doom - MM.. Food, Madvillian - Madilliany, Viktor Vaughn - Venomous Villian
Like I said... underground rap kick. Everything Daniel Dumile touches turns into awesome. Granted, it's a warped, weird, monster movie obsessed awesome, but it's still awesome. Any rapper that can toss in rhymes about King Koopa, Knishes, and still have time to drop a Bon Jovi reference is a winner in my book.
A Quick Note
If you're not a Blogspot member, and you want to post a comment, simply switch the radio button to 'other', at least that way you'll be able to supply a name other than 'Anonymous'. After all, I always love love knowing who's paying some manner of attention.
Then Again, "So Much More" Might Have Been Misleading...
fin
Just when I'd succesfully written off the Twins for this season and started reaming of glorious 2008 - just think, a rotation of Santana, Liriano, Garza, Baker, and Silva/Bonser/Slowey/Perkins... *drool* - they start winning games and Cleveland and Detroit start playing like they were based out of Kansas City and
It's all pointless...
2006, the year that we improbably stormed back from being over 10 game sback at the all-star break to win the division on the last day of the season, actually proved that we don't have the team to do anything more than embarass ourselves even if we were to make the playoffs. We weren't necessarily a better team last year - our lineup, up until Castillo got traded, was very similar to its 2006 counter part - but we were a much luckier team. Nick Punto gets most of the heat; after all, it's only an occasional act of God that bumps his average above .200, but really, any team that features a DH tag team of Garrett Jones (5 for 39), Rondell White (.138), and Jason Tyner (1 career homerun... poor Jake Westbrook) is in for a tough time. No one can be too upset for at least starting the year hoping Punto would hit .290 again, but to have no one as a legitimate backup (along with having no DH to speak of) has doomed us to some of the most pathetic games I've seen (and, subsequently, pretty much doomed the 2007 season). Even if we were to get into the playoffs, we're not the type of team that could take on the Red Sox, Angels, or, as we recently saw, Mariners of the league.
I say, get all of this out of our system this season. Let the Watkins, Jones, and Buschers have their shot. After all, we may just find something interesting. When they show that they're not really major league material, though, we need to move on. The Timberwolves finally lost Garnett, having nearly completely wasted the talent of one of the best players in the NBA for over a decade, Morneau, Mauer, Santana, and Hunter (amongst a large number of others) deserve to be surrounded with players who can actually fight for a World Series, not just a weak stab at a playoff spot.
Things You Should Really Be Listening To
CDs I've picked up lately that merit at least a passing glance:
El-P - I'll Sleep When You're Dead
Being on somewhat of an underground rap kick lately, and having heard a lot of buzz about this guy, I picked up the CD. Great stuff. I love the production and the bleak, angry lyrics.
Download El-P - The league of Extraordinary Nobodies
mewithoutyou - Brother, Sister
This CD ended up on my Top 10 list from last year, but I hadn't listened to it in a while. It landed at number 10 at the time, but giving it several listens since, it would probly rank higher were the list compiled today. Nearly every song is engaging, and some of them are absolutely golden.
MF Doom - MM.. Food, Madvillian - Madilliany, Viktor Vaughn - Venomous Villian
Like I said... underground rap kick. Everything Daniel Dumile touches turns into awesome. Granted, it's a warped, weird, monster movie obsessed awesome, but it's still awesome. Any rapper that can toss in rhymes about King Koopa, Knishes, and still have time to drop a Bon Jovi reference is a winner in my book.
A Quick Note
If you're not a Blogspot member, and you want to post a comment, simply switch the radio button to 'other', at least that way you'll be able to supply a name other than 'Anonymous'. After all, I always love love knowing who's paying some manner of attention.
Then Again, "So Much More" Might Have Been Misleading...
fin
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