Showing posts with label Cockflickery. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Cockflickery. Show all posts

Thursday, December 26, 2013

2013 YEAR END MUSIC EXTRAGANZA BEGIN!!

"Oh, sure," you're thinking, "You're going to just step back into the scene after abandoning your movie scene thing halfway through so that you can blather on about music you liked this year?"

Hey, first off.... yes, that's exactly what I'm going to do.

Second, the movie list isn't dead, it's just sleeping. It'll be back after the new year.

For those of you who are new to Nibbishment, this is how it works around here:

  • I ignore the plaintive cries of my followers as they puzzle over what my 70 favorite moments in movie history might be.
  • For a week at the end of each year, I devote a week to blathering on about music I liked.
  • Jesse makes fun of me for liking Fall Out Boy (they don't actually show up on any lists this year, so just calm down, man)
So, here's the schedule:

Friday, December 27th: Top 3's (stuff that I want to jabber about that doesn't fall under one of the other lists)

Saturday, December 28th: Favorite Cover Art (Watch as everyone tries and fails to live up to the bar set by Cats in Space Suits)

Sunday, December 29th: Top 20 Favorite Moments (Be warned, "moments" can mean anything from a half second sample to a two and a half minute rap verse)

Monday, December 30th: Top 20 Songs of 2013 (Expect lots of Lady Gaga)

Tuesday, December 31st: Top 20 Albums of 2013 (Expect lots of Lady Gaga)

Friday, January 1st: Top 30 Most Played Songs of 2013 (Every song play count is counted... even radio, because I'm OCD. My blog is updated never, because I'm the laziest OCD person ever.)

Oooh, you're in for a treat, friends.

(tagged "cockflickery", because never updating, only to completely ignore ongoing concerns when you finally do update can be labelled nothing else)

Monday, February 6, 2012

Top 50 Video Games: Number 17



Platform: Playstation 2
Absurdly Specific Genre: Being the best 3D platformer/shooter ever - that's not really a genre, is it.
Difficulty: 5-ish, I think?
Beaten: Yes.

I'll level with you. I know the following things about this game/series:

  • * It's my favorite 3D Platformer/Shooter
  • * It's a better series than Jak and Daxter
  • * This is the best game in the series of the ones that I've played (the first three).
  • * I absolutely loved this game when I played it.
Unfortunately, it falls in the same mental hole that Jak 2 does. I remember particular parts of the game (the ending, the vid comics, and some of the basic gameplay), but the gameplay by and large escapes me.

Worse still, I can't just pull it off the shelf and play it, because I lent all three games out to a friend of mine, who never returned them (I found out later that he forgot that they were mine and sold them at a yard sale).

I certainly plan on purchasing all three games again. I loved these games. The excellent mix of self-aware humor and kickassery; the RYNO (one of my very favorite weapons); the little segments where you had to play as Clank... everything about this series was spot on.

Ah, I should go play them all front to back right now......

...oh, wait.

Saturday, June 11, 2011

Where's Pete?

Between having my wisdom teeth extracted and losing my computer to a motherboard issue, it's pretty clear that I shouldn't have started the list this week.

The bad news is that both master lists are on my main computer's hard drive, leaving me dead in the water until I'm able to get at them.

The good news is that I should be able to get at them early next week. The countdown will commence from there.

This post has been tagged "cockflickery", because motherboards dying when you're trying to live on a budget is cockflickery in one of its most distilled forms.

Saturday, October 10, 2009

Ouch.... ouch ouch ouch

Note the position of the umpire as he calls the clearly fair ball foul.

Great game by Blackburn. Too bad that it all has to wind down in the shittiest way possible.

On a sidenote, I overheard Ron Darling saying after the team's MVP Justin Morneau went down with an injury, it was guys like Michael Cuddyer, Jason Kubel... and Delmon Young that pulled the Twins into contention.

Joe Mauer, meanwhile, selfishly hit .354/.471/.487 - to be clear, that means he was getting on base almost as often as he was getting out over the critical playoff drive. What Cuddy did was great, but he and Kubel aren't getting RBIs if Mauer isn't setting the table for them. To act as if the soon-to-be AL MVP had less to do with the Twins eventual division title than DELMON YOUNG, is cockflickery, my friends.

Also, in what universe do people still think the MVP of the 2009 Twins is Justin Morneau??

What a complete disappointment... let's pick up at least one from this very beatable team, shall we, gentlemen??

Thursday, August 28, 2008

Thieves with Halos

Want to play a guitar simulation video game?
Don't want to damn your eternal soul to hell in the process?

Has 'Digital Praise' got a game for.......ah, to hell with it.

What in the hell is this?? I'll admit (reluctantly) that I used to be a big fan of all thigns Christian rock. That was, of course, before I heard all the bands that my former favorites were ripping off and sanitizing. I still enjoy some of the stuff from back in the day, but that's beside the point.

Digital Praise, the fine people that brought you those knock-off Dance Dance Revolution games, now bring you "Guitar Praise". In their own words:

"Grab the guitar and play along with top Christian bands! Shred those riffs or blast the bass…you add a unique sound to the solid Christian rock. But watch out: if you can't keep up, the artists will take a break and stop the music. Crank it up and try again ? you?ll soon be rockin' with the best while praising the Lord! Order the second guitar and jam with a friend!"

There just aren't any words in the English dictionary that describe that. Luckily, I just so happen to have one of my own.

Cockflickery.

Seriously, people. Do your own thing. Add in a tambourine, have the user wear little bracelets that can tell when you're raising your hands in praise, just don't rip off an established franchise and throw together some shitty tracklist on it and call it 'good'. By the way, out of 40-plus years of rock music (for today's purposes, we'll count the Larry Norman era as the beginings of C-Rock) you can't find anything better to put on a track list of "rockin' spiritual songs" than Stellar Cart, Superchick, and TWO Hawk Nelson songs? I could look through my (admittedly embarassing) Christian music collection and find 50 songs more apt for a collection such as this than TWO Hawk Nelson songs. Amy Frickin' Grant is more 'rock' than Hawk Nelson.

Cockflickery abounds...

Next thing they need is "Organ Hymnal Simulator 5000" for those not down with the C-Rock scene.

Friday, July 18, 2008

This 'N That: The Revolution Grows

Fire Joe Buck, Part 2

Jester has joined the cause (look in the second half of his All-Star blog, all of which is a pretty good read). While Buck's calling of the all-star game wasn't quite as insipid as his calling of the Super Bowl, or as flat out nonsensically wrong as the guy sitting next to him (seriously, Mr. McCarver, what are you doing?? Stop now, preferably before the playoffs), it was still worthy of some anger. How this pair continues to get the privilege of calling the big games is absolutely a mystery to me.

Get John Gordon in there, that way every weak popup can be a home run, and every fielding play can be a fantastic one. Or get Dick'n'Bert in there, so that everything can be completely nonsensical and wrong without having to listen to Joe Buck be a douche.

Still Staying Positive

'Stay Positive', the 4th album from The Hold Steady came out on Tuesday, and as I hinted at last week, the result is a very solid CD. Retaining the same energy and wit from 'Boys and Girls in America', and adding a couple of new elements (harpsichord, Cars-style synthesizers, etc). There's not a weak track that I've heard after 5 or 6 listens. Sequestered in Memphis is catchy as song can be, and Slapped Actress might be the best closing song I've heard all year (dare you to not get the chills in the final minute). I'll say it again, it you like rock music, buy 'Stay Positive'.

Because This Post Needed the "Cockflickery" Tag

Congratulations to Justin Morneau for winning the Home Run Derby. Shame on ESPN for the worst coverage of an event in the history of space and time. We get it, Josh Hamilton was a great story, good for him. Plus, what he did in the first round of the derby was unbelievable. I saw a replay of the derby on Wednesday, and it still gave me the same chill. Truly an amazing achievement, but ESPN's coverage of the event was asinine. First Rick "Biggest Ego in Sports Journalism" Reilly was pissing and moaning about Morneau even being in the event. Fine. I suppose most people would've rather seen A-Rod, whatever (it does sort of make him look like an idiot, though).

Flash forward to after Hamilton loses the event. Morneau walks over to congratulate Hamilton, and the reporter walks up and right by the guy who just won the event. That's kind of cold, but Hamilton did just defy the laws of physics repeatedly with his home run shots, I guess he'd be the guy most would want to talk to. Then, the ceremony comes, where they clearly make a mistake and call Justin "Jason" (what, you can't remember the name of the guy who won AL MVP two years ago??) then comes the interview, where Morneau, being a class act, talks about how great Hamilton's night was, which is lucky, because that's all the reporter wanted to talk about, anyway. After about 30 seconds, the interview ends, and it's back up to the booth to whine about how Hamilton got slighted. I agree, the rules should be maneuvered a bit, and Hamilton probably should have won, but this was ridiculous. If you were to embark on a 26 mile marathon, and run the first mile in 4 minutes, no one would be all that sorry for you when you collapsed around the 3 mile mark. Hamilton tried to sprint when he should've paced himself. He was the story of the night, but ESPN made the thing out to be some sort of Greek tragedy.

Congratulations, ESPN staff (Rick Reilly in particular), you have all engaged in cockflickery of the highest caliber.

Thursday, May 8, 2008

What's More Surprising...

...the fact that I'm posting twice in one day? Or the fact that I've found 2 things which piss me off enough to deem them 'cockflickery'??

Anyway, Dave Golokhov (of the bastion of knowledge that is askmen.com) has deemed the Minnesota Twins the 7th worst franchise in all of professional sports. Just read what Mr. Golokhov has to say...

"Moneyball" is to baseball what frugal is to cheap; it's a creative way of saying, "we're not going to pay for our stars or reward our veterans who have earned their keep." Sabermetrics and scientific stats are used to evaluate players and give a better indication of their worth, but teams like the Minnesota Twins use this strategy to kiss their superstars goodbye at the trade deadline or the first day of free agency. The Twins constantly sell proven veterans for prospects and draft picks, but when those youngsters finally develop, they get shipped away to start the cycle again. The Twins incessantly look to the future and winning now is not a priority. Translation: the Twins care more about the dollars than about winning.

Alright, so I - being a big fan of the Minnesota Twins - am aware that I'm a touch biased here, but what in the ever-loving hell?? I realize that it's frustrating that we lose great players. Did losing Torii hurt? Sure, (though, in reality, I think Gomez is going to be an unbelievably talented player in his own right) there's no way he deserved $90 million, though, and I can't fault the Twins at all for not paying him that amount. Did losing Santana hurt? Of course, he's - bar none - the best pitcher in baseball, but he just signed for an all-time record for a pitcher (and we got the aforementioned Gomez plus two other nice prospects for him, we didn't get full value, but we hardly got robbed). I fail to see how either of those losses make the Twins the 4th worst team in baseball. To be fair, I'm just trying to understand which team he's talking about.
  • The team that, since 2001, has a record of 551-452 (meaning they win 55% of their games)
  • The team that has won the toughest division in baseball 4 of the last 6 years
  • The team that has won the World Series twice in the last 20 years
  • The team that is in first place at the moment this article was conceived in this cockflicker's disturbed little mind

Yeah, I'd say he's out of his damned mind.

You, sir have just taken the cockflickery cake. Take a bow, Mr. Golokhov, you have no earthly idea what you're talking about.

This just in! Every team that is not the Yankees is the worst team in baseball, because they didn't give Carl Pavano 40 million dollars.

This 'n That: It's Business Time

Haven't had a good chance to do much with the space the last couple weeks. I have, however, had a chance to catch some new music, so here's what I've been after the last few weeks...

Flight of the Conchords (s/t)
Ah, the Flight of the Conchords. I was lucky enough to get my 3 month HBO trial during the run of the eponymous show, and became an instant fan. All the songs from their full length self-titled CD will be familiar to fans of the show, who should be pleased to see such classics as 'Business Time' and 'Prettiest Girl (in the room)', while people unfamiliar to the group might be a bit confused as to what the fuss is about. 'Leggy Blonde' is still awful, and a couple other songs seem a bit detached without the show to act as a reference point (even though most, if not all of these songs existed in some way before the show even aired). Still, the Conchords are awesome, and this set shows that fact quite nicely.
(7/10)

Crystal Castles (s/t)
Whoa, this is fun music. Crystal Castles use an Atari 5200 chip inside of their keyboard to produce what could best be described as videogame dance pop. The songs alternate between ridiculously catchy sugary songs that sound like old school nintendo soundtracks and hyperactive shouty electronic spazz outs. Greatly enjoyed.
(8/10)

Gnarls Barkley (The Odd Couple)
Big kudos to Gnarls for moving on from 2006's biggest hit. 'The Odd Couple' could have been nothing but 15 stabs at re-bottling lightning, and to their credit, they haven't gone in that direction. Instead, they've filled their followup with manic, flow-of-consciousness r&b similar to the stuff on St. Elsewhere, only more consistently good. The mountains have been smoother out a little, but the valleys have been filled in quite a bit, too.
(8/10)

Panic at the Disco (Pretty. Odd.)
I was a moderate fan of Panic's first CD (back when they were known by the asinine name of "Panic! at the Disco"), but thought they were nothing special. If they had churned out another 'Fever You Can't Sweat Out', I probably wouldn't have given it a second look, but hearing that they had abandoned pop-punk entirely in favor of Beatles-ish pop-rock songs, I had to check it out. Well, at least the album lives up to it's name. It's really strange hearing a band who sounds like they only just heard about the Beatles try to emulate what they've discovered. There's no way on earth Panic should be trying to copy the Beatles, but they don't know that, and it makes the music more interesting than it should be. As an added bonus, they still know how to write a decent hook, so in the end, even though there's no way that this CD should work, it somehow does. Barely, but it does.
(6/10)

Atmosphere (When Life Gives You Lemons, You Paint That Shit Gold)
As an aside, I would like to state that this is the best album title of the year. They can give out the award now, and save everyone the trouble of trying to think up clever plays on words and puns. Nothing can top this. Musically, it's a mixed bag. I really enjoy Atmosphere when they're playing the over-the-top, big bragging music. This CD doesn't really have any of that. Lyrically, it's a revelation, after hearing Slug rap about 'Slug and the things that Slug hates' for his entire career, we get a concept album of sorts about how much life sucks and how family needs to stick together through it. All the familiar themes (girls, strippers, inner city lifestyles) get turned on their head and twisted around to a more personal setting. Some of the songs are almost completely resigned, and all of them carry around a certain gloom, but the much more subdued production and almost 'tender' vocal treatment give them a weight you don't expect from rap music. Like I said before, I enjoy this act more when they're in 'The Arrival' mode, but this album almost necessary by the time 'In Her Music Box' ends. Different, but good.
(7/10)

 


Chalk This Up Under 'Cockflickery'

Looking at the now famous video of Buzz Bissinger's hissy-fit, there are points to be made for the fact that blogs don't necessarily encourage good writing (and I'm a shining example of that), and there are plenty of world class cockflickers out there (and the fact that I have a 'cockflickery' tag lumps me uncomfortably close to the people that think the word 'douchebag' is hilarious). But honestly, to berate somebody for the comments on his blogs? That goes beyond cockflickery to absolute worthless babble.

On a side note, one thing that actually strikes me (other than a certain inward sigh over how impervious to logic some people are) is how uncomfortable it must have felt for Braylon Edwards to be sitting there watching the whole thing. That had to have been awkward.

Monday, March 24, 2008

You Suck, Universal Records...

I purchased the new Be Your Own Pet CD on Saturday. It's pretty decent, what with the bratty female-fronted noise punk, but I already knew that... I'd downloaded a relatively low-quality leak a few weeks ago, so I had a pretty good idea what I was getting into.

Not quite enough of an idea, it seems...

It seems that 3 of the songs on Get Awkward are 'too violent'. This would usually bother me, anyway, but when one of those tunes happens to be my favorite off of the CD. Well, dammit... you've gone ahead and pissed me right off, you corporate cockflickers. Here's the lyrics to 'Becky':

Doesn't matter anyway, 'cause I've got a brand new friend, OK
Me and her, we'll kick your ass
We'll wait with knives after class!

With bands like Bloodhound Gang, Lil Wayne, and Lindsay Lohan under employment in one form or another by Universal, I'm a bit confused as to why things need to be pared off the album seemingly for no good reason while Bloodhound Gang gets to keep their mind-bogglingly dumb (and giddily profane) music untouched and complete. I mean, what... songs about teenage revenge murders aren't kosher?

So yay, now I get to own a dumbed down, murder-free version of Get Awkward. Hooray for double standards, corporate shenanigans and all-around general idiocy!

Note to Universal Music Group: I'm no dancer, but on that sweet day when no one's buying your products anymore, and the entire music industry moves and leaves you and your old ways in the dust, I think I might cut a jig on your grave.