What's More Surprising...

...the fact that I'm posting twice in one day? Or the fact that I've found 2 things which piss me off enough to deem them 'cockflickery'??

Anyway, Dave Golokhov (of the bastion of knowledge that is askmen.com) has deemed the Minnesota Twins the 7th worst franchise in all of professional sports. Just read what Mr. Golokhov has to say...

"Moneyball" is to baseball what frugal is to cheap; it's a creative way of saying, "we're not going to pay for our stars or reward our veterans who have earned their keep." Sabermetrics and scientific stats are used to evaluate players and give a better indication of their worth, but teams like the Minnesota Twins use this strategy to kiss their superstars goodbye at the trade deadline or the first day of free agency. The Twins constantly sell proven veterans for prospects and draft picks, but when those youngsters finally develop, they get shipped away to start the cycle again. The Twins incessantly look to the future and winning now is not a priority. Translation: the Twins care more about the dollars than about winning.

Alright, so I - being a big fan of the Minnesota Twins - am aware that I'm a touch biased here, but what in the ever-loving hell?? I realize that it's frustrating that we lose great players. Did losing Torii hurt? Sure, (though, in reality, I think Gomez is going to be an unbelievably talented player in his own right) there's no way he deserved $90 million, though, and I can't fault the Twins at all for not paying him that amount. Did losing Santana hurt? Of course, he's - bar none - the best pitcher in baseball, but he just signed for an all-time record for a pitcher (and we got the aforementioned Gomez plus two other nice prospects for him, we didn't get full value, but we hardly got robbed). I fail to see how either of those losses make the Twins the 4th worst team in baseball. To be fair, I'm just trying to understand which team he's talking about.

• The team that, since 2001, has a record of 551-452 (meaning they win 55% of their games)
• The team that has won the toughest division in baseball 4 of the last 6 years
• The team that has won the World Series twice in the last 20 years
• The team that is in first place at the moment this article was conceived in this cockflicker's disturbed little mind

Yeah, I'd say he's out of his damned mind.

You, sir have just taken the cockflickery cake. Take a bow, Mr. Golokhov, you have no earthly idea what you're talking about.

This just in! Every team that is not the Yankees is the worst team in baseball, because they didn't give Carl Pavano 40 million dollars.