Tuesday, June 7, 2011

Top 50 Video Games: Number 50

Stats of Import

Platform: NES
Absurdly Specific Genre: Soccer Ball Tensile Strength Simulator
Difficulty: 2
Beaten: Yes

A couple of guys at Technōs Japan decided to make a soccer game where the game played resembled soccer in name only. I propose a toast to those paragons of sports gaming, for what they created on that fateful day was Nintendo World Cup. It is to soccer what NFL Blitz is to football - absurdly unrealistic, violent, and above all, stupidly entertaining.

The game itself was pretty decent, filled with passing, tackling, and goalkeeping - you know... vaguely soccer-related activities. Then you learned how to power kick.

"...and he passes it to Roaldinho and HOLY SHIT, DID HE JUST KICK THE BALL INTO TWO PIECES?!?"
You only got a certain number of power kicks per half (or at least, it seemed that way to us as kids, I think we were wrong on that one, but whatever), but it was unblockable (in fact, it straight up killed anyone who attempted to block it other than goalies toward the end of the game), defied the laws of physics and it only required the slightest bit of timing. There were all kinds of shots, from a weird glowing slow moving ball of doom to the strange fishhook that Mexican players launched. Most of them didn't even try to tether themselves to reality.

"You know how we were planning on coding realistic looking shots, let's get really drunk, instead."

You could always play by yourself, but co-op was where it was at. With one player going around brutally murdering every defender on the field, and the other player perching himself right in front of the goal (offsides wasn't even something you could turn on), Cameroon never stood a chance.

They almost scored a goal in this game. All defensive players for Team Mexico were flogged for their shoddy effort.


  1. I played this game all of maybe one time. Cartoonish sports weren't my thing at the time but I learned to love them, starting with a totally stupid robot baseball game on NES where you could buy parts for them and turn them all into mashers and eventually have no fun because you'd score 48 runs a game. I mean, I guess that's fun for some, but it's really not why I'm into baseball...

  2. Oh, I totally know what you mean. Most sports games end up losing me because it gets to the point where the game isn't even remotely realistic. I like this one because it was never an expectation. Besides, it was a ton of fun to play coop.

  3. You almost gave up a goal to CAMEROON?! ARE YOU KIDDIN' ME?!