Ron Darling Needs Physics Lessons

The Twins were predictably eliminated in painful fashion on Sunday. They got the lead for the third straight game, only to follow the script straight through to the part which called for A-Rod to bludgeon our pitching staff into submission.

Rather than complain about the Twins losing in the playoffs (I had them pegged for 75 wins and for most of the season, it looked like I was right), I'll make fun of the announcing staff.

During the early innings of last night's game, Ron Darling made the comment that ground balls hit on the Metrodome turf "gain speed" as they approach the infielders. Even if that didn't violate the laws of physics, such a field would be ridiculously dangerous. Imagine - bunt hits gaining momentum until, by the time they reach the outfield, they are hurtling at devastating speeds. Fielders daring not bounce their throws on the turf, lest they decapitate the intended recipient of their throws. Maybe he meant that the turf slows the ball down less than grass? Mmm.... no, I'm quite certain he meant it this way.

Of course, I'm being more than a little pedantic, but the team of Ron Darling and Chip Caray (particularly the latter) are quite possibly the worst announcers to listen to. I'm including Hall of Shamers like McCarver & Buck (Joe, of course, not his dearly departed father) in this ascertation. They get facts wrong, they (especially Caray) act as homers for all things Yankee, and worst of all, they bring absolutely nothing to the table. They're certainly not informative, they're just sort of... there (and the way Caray refers to just about every bloop hit as being 'fisted' is creepy to me).

Sour grapes notwithstanding, that was a pretty disgusting end to a season that defied expectations. You can't beat the Yankees by leaving 17 men on base in one game, or by blundering your way out of at least 2 runs by simply not paying any attention on the basepaths, or by hitting a grand total of zero home runs after putting up decent power numbers all year - and guess what......we didn't.

Ah well..... we'll always have last Tuesday's game.

Note: This gets the "Joe Buck Sucks" tag, because boy howdy does he ever.

People on the Internet Say Dumb Things

It's no secret that internet message boards are breeding grounds for stupidity. That's a given, but in an article written on Wednesday, a commenter wrote one of the stupidest things I've ever read written about baseball.

How about trading A-rod for Gary Matthews, straight up?

This would be, without question, the worst trade ever made in any sport. Ever. Even if he were the worst fielding third baseman in baseball (which, I assure you, he isn't), here's how he ranks in a few key offensive stats:

AVG - .308 (10th, just 15 points behind the leader)
OBP - .397 (7th)
SLG - .586 (2nd, a mere 3 points behind Milton Bradley)
OPS - .983 (T-2nd)
HR - 28 (5th)

...but yeah, trading that for a guy who's hitting .224/.330/.306 and is a full year older than A-Rod makes perfect sense.

I know Matthews is nothing special, but it would be addition by subtraction for NY.

I love how he notes that Matthews is 'nothing special'. It should be noted that the player who has 546 home runs in his career, the guy who should have been last year's unanimous MVP (Maglio's great, but anyone who gave him the top vote last year should have their voting privilages revoked) is pretty damn special. Plus, with the aforementioned stats backing me up, I would say he's not anywhere near the heavy decline phase yet. If Cashman were anywhere remotely near this stupid, Billy Smith should get on the phone and arrange a trade Nick Punto for Jeter, Joba Chamberlain, and Mariano Rivera (who'd make a damn good setup guy to the best closer in the majors).

He goes on to make a decent point about Jeter being awful at defense, then makes a couple of bizzare points about moving Jeter to left, moving Posada to first, and apparently having Matsui and Giambi (good hitters and lousy fielders both) fight to the death over who gets to DH.

People, seriously. You need to get this through your heads: A-Rod is the best baseball player in the major leagues. I think he's kind of a douche, and he doesn't play the media game nearly as well as Jeter, but come on.

(note: 'Pulling a Golokhov' tag used in reference to this article, where Dave Golokhov inexplicably listed the Twins as one of the 10 worst franchises in professional sports. Something the fine writers at FireJoeMorgan had a field day with - as did I in my not nearly as witty or clever diatribe. I'll be using this tag whenever anyone says anything so impossibly stupid that it's obvious they can't be serious.)