Thursday, August 28, 2008

Thieves with Halos

Want to play a guitar simulation video game?
Don't want to damn your eternal soul to hell in the process?

Has 'Digital Praise' got a game for.......ah, to hell with it.

What in the hell is this?? I'll admit (reluctantly) that I used to be a big fan of all thigns Christian rock. That was, of course, before I heard all the bands that my former favorites were ripping off and sanitizing. I still enjoy some of the stuff from back in the day, but that's beside the point.

Digital Praise, the fine people that brought you those knock-off Dance Dance Revolution games, now bring you "Guitar Praise". In their own words:

"Grab the guitar and play along with top Christian bands! Shred those riffs or blast the bass…you add a unique sound to the solid Christian rock. But watch out: if you can't keep up, the artists will take a break and stop the music. Crank it up and try again ? you?ll soon be rockin' with the best while praising the Lord! Order the second guitar and jam with a friend!"

There just aren't any words in the English dictionary that describe that. Luckily, I just so happen to have one of my own.


Seriously, people. Do your own thing. Add in a tambourine, have the user wear little bracelets that can tell when you're raising your hands in praise, just don't rip off an established franchise and throw together some shitty tracklist on it and call it 'good'. By the way, out of 40-plus years of rock music (for today's purposes, we'll count the Larry Norman era as the beginings of C-Rock) you can't find anything better to put on a track list of "rockin' spiritual songs" than Stellar Cart, Superchick, and TWO Hawk Nelson songs? I could look through my (admittedly embarassing) Christian music collection and find 50 songs more apt for a collection such as this than TWO Hawk Nelson songs. Amy Frickin' Grant is more 'rock' than Hawk Nelson.

Cockflickery abounds...

Next thing they need is "Organ Hymnal Simulator 5000" for those not down with the C-Rock scene.


  1. *shakes head*

    Peter, Peter, Peter.

    Of all the people to throw a tantrum over this harmless product...

    Harmmmless! It's just people trying to make a safe, harmless alternative to the stuff the secular world puts out there. If they wanted to make "Guitar Hero: Christian" then you would probably get bands like Mortal Treason, AILD, Demon Hunter, Norma Jean, underOath etc. But this is a PRAISE game. Granted, there are some legit rock tracks on there (Red, TFK, Skillet, Pillar, Day of Fire, 12 Stones, Bride, Kutless, Jonah33, 7DS, Spoken, WHITECROSS!), but come on. It's a CCM game, with a CCM theme and a CCM list. The fact that people are actually getting upset is (hopefully) increasing it's popularity!

    There are such worse things to care about! Lol

  2. Point on the issue of there being bigger things to worry about, but I dislike talking about politics (especially online), and the Twins just make me angry right now.

    The Whitecross sort of surprised me, and there is a little bit of good music on there, but the whole "take something worldly and sanitize it" aspect still irks me. Agree to disagree, I guess.