Vogons need to vogon over the next two weeks. Can they do it? Can I snag some sweet scores in the process? Read on, my friends.
This week's challenge was "Unfortunate Strength". The only requirement was that the protagonist had to have a strength that had drawbacks. A broad category, to be sure, but it had lots of potential. Did I live up to that potential? Did Vogons? Let's find out together.
My entry:
“I’m sorry to bother you…” the frail woman began. They were always sorry. They were usually scared, too, but mostly, they were just apologetic. Sorry to inconvenience, sorry to impose, so sorry to place the burden on Christine. If they were really so sorry, she thought, they wouldn’t be asking. They’d be looking into aromatherapy or herbal treatments – anything but this.
“You do understand what you’re asking for, don’t you?” Christine cut the woman off. “Can you live with what’s going to happen?”
They always, without fail, said that yes, they could live with it. Some of them actually could. Maybe they just didn’t understand the nature of the Balance, or maybe they understood it, but simply didn’t care what about the implications.
“Gather up a couple of Frank’s personal effects and procure a single vial of his blood. Bring those things to me three nights from now. You’ll need to spend that night in this house, so bring along a change of clothes.”
Some of Christine’s clients would then begin to worry about how they were going to get a vial of blood without their loved one suspecting anything. Some of them began to realize the full weight of what they were asking for around this time. If this woman did, she resigned herself to it with a sigh and a weary nod. They made their arrangements and the woman left.
Thursday came, and Christine set the basement up for the ritual. The woman came over at the appointed time and the pair went descended into the darkness.
“Do you ever feel badly for what you do?” the woman asked. Christine loathed conversations like this. What they about to do was soul-wrenching enough as it was without having a great deal of attention cast upon the particulars of it.
“I generally don’t think about it too much. If you’re ready, we ought to begin.”
“Why do you do it? You didn’t ask for much money, and you can’t possibly enjoy the heartache your actions cost.”
Christine opened her mouth to reply, but couldn’t find the words for an explanation. This woman was just as complicit as she, what was there to be gained from discussing it further?
“I don’t think we should talk about this any more.”
“I just don’t see how a human could…”
“Enough. Do you have the items I requested?”
“Yes.”
“Then if you have nothing further to say, let’s begin. I will transfer your husband’s illness into this loaf of bread. Whichever eats the bread will take on his illness.”
“Alright.”
The ritual was completed with no further incident. Christine gave the woman the cursed loaf of bread, instructed her that the sooner she found a target, the more effective the transference would be.
The woman nodded, she took the bread out of her purse and began to eat it.
Christine stared in disbelief as the woman took the curse upon herself.
“Why did you do that?” Christine asked. She had entertained a suspicion that others had done similar things throughout her time, but never had she seen a client do so in person.
“I couldn’t bear to see him slip away.”
“But you’ll force him to do it for you?”
“No.” replied the woman, as she briefly showed Christine the pistol she had hidden in her purse. With that, she left.
The next day, Christine’s new client was sitting at her table. “I’m sorry to bother you” he began…
No, Christine thought, you’re not, and after this time, I won’t have to be, either.
Here's what our fair judges thought.
K: Wow, another fable. Don’t play God, people. I like the concept and would like to see it extrapolated further, though it does seem somewhat familiar. 4
DK: Another good idea (these are all pretty good ideas) but something about it played out a little too familiar for me. It didn’t really grab me and keep me interested like some of the others. 2
My initial concept when I first read the outline of the challenge was the idea of a doctor who's too good at hopeless cases, and is constantly being saddled with no hope cases. This was discarded, because the story that was coming together was weirdly devoid of any sort of humanity (just as well, in retrospect, it reads kind of - like Beau said - a bad episode of House).
The sort of vague witch doctor-y thing I came up with didn't come together quite like I'd hoped, particularly the ending. I like the last sentence, but the lead in felt like it was lacking. I couldn't figure out exactly what that lack might be, but it felt flat-ish.
I have to believe that when both judges said it felt 'familiar' they were talking about the Stephen King story Thinner? Maybe? I dunno. They both said it, though, so that, combined with the 'changing horses midstream' nature of my entry this week makes me think that I might have unconsciously cribbed a plot detail from some other work. I'll have to be more careful about that in the future.
Regardless, not only did Vogons not have to eliminate anyone, they vogoned all over the place, with a snazzy 3.2 average.
Monday, January 30, 2012
Monday, January 23, 2012
Spookymilk Survivor X: Struggling With Decline
Last week, Vogons lost another member. This distressing turn of events was brought to you by JG (R.I.P.). Moving on...
This week, the concept was a struggle with decline. Make a story where the protagonist is having issues with declining... something. Could be physical, could be mental, could be metaphysical - doesn't matter. So long as somebody's struggling with the fact that something isn't what it was.
Here's mine.
I have seen so much in my time.
I’ve witnessed countless civilizations rise and fall. I’ve seen the far reaches of what a million generations deemed the edges of existence, and light years beyond them. I’ve watched creation itself burst forth with sights to glorious to imagine, only to wither and die when its season was through.
That was in eternity past. It’s been so long since the warmth that I can scarcely remember it. All that remains now is darkness and a cold that permeates everything. There is nothing left to see, and my seemingly eternal life has finally been spent.
It is finally time.
Gathering what precious little energy I have left, I prepare myself. My death will be the gateway to the birth of a new creation.
“Let there be light.”
And here's the judges' critiques...
K: I love the twist, and the length, I think, for this story is correct. However, because this week was so damned strong, an incredibly clever premise that’s over quickly just can’t hold up to some of the emotional resonance we’ve had to this point. 2
DK: I’m not going to say it’s too short, cause it’s not. It sells what it sets out to sell in an effective amount of space, but it doesn’t really draw me into its protagonist or the circumstances like a lot of the others here do. 2
I'm shocked that I got twos. I really thought I was getting worse than that for this one. I think this is my worst submission of the year. I liked the concept, but tinkering around with it all week, I couldn't find a way to make it resonate. DK isn't wrong here, there's no draw, no reason for the reader to care one way or the other. It's all concept and the twist at the end.
Regarding the twist, I do like the ending. "Let there be light", regardless of your religious beliefs, just has a perfect flow to it. It's the perfect way to open a book (in this case by closing the book to eternity past). I just wish that I would've found a way to make the rest of it a worthy lead-in.
Vogons didn't quite Vogon (we came close, though), but we won't lose anyone this week, so we get to party, anyway.
This week, the concept was a struggle with decline. Make a story where the protagonist is having issues with declining... something. Could be physical, could be mental, could be metaphysical - doesn't matter. So long as somebody's struggling with the fact that something isn't what it was.
Here's mine.
I have seen so much in my time.
I’ve witnessed countless civilizations rise and fall. I’ve seen the far reaches of what a million generations deemed the edges of existence, and light years beyond them. I’ve watched creation itself burst forth with sights to glorious to imagine, only to wither and die when its season was through.
That was in eternity past. It’s been so long since the warmth that I can scarcely remember it. All that remains now is darkness and a cold that permeates everything. There is nothing left to see, and my seemingly eternal life has finally been spent.
It is finally time.
Gathering what precious little energy I have left, I prepare myself. My death will be the gateway to the birth of a new creation.
“Let there be light.”
And here's the judges' critiques...
K: I love the twist, and the length, I think, for this story is correct. However, because this week was so damned strong, an incredibly clever premise that’s over quickly just can’t hold up to some of the emotional resonance we’ve had to this point. 2
DK: I’m not going to say it’s too short, cause it’s not. It sells what it sets out to sell in an effective amount of space, but it doesn’t really draw me into its protagonist or the circumstances like a lot of the others here do. 2
I'm shocked that I got twos. I really thought I was getting worse than that for this one. I think this is my worst submission of the year. I liked the concept, but tinkering around with it all week, I couldn't find a way to make it resonate. DK isn't wrong here, there's no draw, no reason for the reader to care one way or the other. It's all concept and the twist at the end.
Regarding the twist, I do like the ending. "Let there be light", regardless of your religious beliefs, just has a perfect flow to it. It's the perfect way to open a book (in this case by closing the book to eternity past). I just wish that I would've found a way to make the rest of it a worthy lead-in.
Vogons didn't quite Vogon (we came close, though), but we won't lose anyone this week, so we get to party, anyway.
Top 50 Video Game Moments: Number 18
Video game moment number 18 comes to us from Half Life 2. I went on a tangent about the Half Life series in a previous post, but the games really do have some excellent moments in them. This moment really sneaked up on me, but it was extremely effective.
Top 50 Video Games: Number 18
Platform: Xbox 360
Absurdly Specific Genre: Punching evil in the face.
Difficulty: For as good a game as it was, it was pretty easy.I'd give it a 4.
Beaten: Yes.
To say that I was skeptical of Arkham Asylum going into it is an understatement. The only other Batman game I had ever played was the Batman Begins licensed game, and that was pretty bad. From the opening cutscene to Arkham Asylum, though, the game sucks you in. I greatly enjoy the "playable cutscene" style of plot advancement, where the game gives you control of the character during a cutscene and lets you look around and move during it. This game features that feature better than just about any game I can think of.
The gameplay is a great mixture of brawling and stealth (the stealth becoming particularly important later, as Joker's henchmen begin to amp up their firepower). There's a real feeling of badassery as you hide in the rafters of rooms, swooping down on the increasingly terrified thugs.
 |
| Currently: Terrified About to be: Unconcious |
While the Joker's nefarious plot is predictably not what it appears at first glance, the plot never really overdoes itself. The voice acting is all fantastic, with Kevin Conroy (Batman) and Mark Hamill (Joker) really playing well off of each other (particularly in one fantastic scene earlier in the game, where the Joker stands on a precarious edge and dares Batman to knock him off to his doom. We all know he won't do it, but as the game goes on, you get the feeling that he almost regrets not taking the opportunity). As the Joker takes over more and more of the asylum and reveals more and more of his plan, the stakes do actually feel effectively raised.
The brawling is great, but the boss fights unfortunately lag a little bit, with most of them falling into the "hit the boss with a batarang as he charges you, then wail on him once he runs into the wall". It would've been nice to have boss fights that felt as epic as the game that surrounded them (especially the final boss), but it's a comparatively minor quibble. When you've got a game as smooth and badass as Arkham Asylum, it's tough to argue for better.
 |
| If you're bringing a game like Arkham Asylum, it's a fair trade. |
Other Notable Games in the Arkham Asylum Series: So, there's a fairly high profile sequel to this game, and I got it for Christmas from my brother in law. I haven't played it yet, because I was playing Chrono Trigger, then got busy with other real life concerns. I've heard a lot of good things, and some unsettling things (particularly unsettling, because these are the exact things I was worried about when I heard that Arkham City was going to be more open world. Arkham Asylum was great enough that I'll certainly play it, and I do anticipate that I'll enjoy it, but I can't see it being anywhere near as good as the first game.
Monday, January 16, 2012
Spookymilk Survivor X: Seemingly Useless Superpower
So, here we are. It's getting to be crunch time.Will Vogons blaze a glorious path to...erm... glory? Or will they make horrible choices and go down in flames?
This week's challenge was "Seemingly Useless Superpower". In it, a character was to have a superpower that seemed on the outset to be completely useless, only for it to come in very handy. I did pretty well at this one last time.
What about this time? Was I able to top "4 or 5 servings"? Well, that's doubtful, but maybe I did fairly well, anyway. Read on, faithful reader.
The spectral blade sliced effortlessly through the Crimson Crusader, instantly cleaving his boyish, yet devilishly handsome face from his perfectly chiseled torso. With that, Baron Parallax surveyed the scene. The heroes all lay dead – most of them in several pieces.
“Perfect” he said to Bludgeoner, “just in time for the summoning.”
“Boss, there’s another one here. He’s just hiding behind the table.” replied Bludgeoner.
“Bring him to me.”
Bludgeoner shoved the hero toward the Baron.
“And just who might y…”
“I AM THE INTERJECTION!” cried the now-named hero.
“Why were you cowering behind the table. Why would they even bother bringing you if you w…”
“I MAKE NON-CONTEXTUAL COMMENTS AT INOPPORTUNE TIMES!!!”
“Excellent! A speech-themed super. You’re certain that you don’t turn into a hulking behemoth if expos…”
“I HAVE THE POWER OF MAKING NON-CONTEX…”
“Yes, yes… Now, believe it or not, I’m actually glad you showed up today. Bludgeoner and I are going to need a blood sacrifice to properly awaken the demon lord. Your friends are volunteered, but got a little excited and started things early, and Kil’zumall likes his sacr…”
“SUMMONING THE DEMON LORD KIL’ZUMAL, ARE YOU? I’VE PIECED TOGETHER YOUR NEFARIOUS PLOT!”
“Anyway, the urge to murder you is only going up by the second, but we’ve got to wait for the proper time. If you’ll excuse me, I’ve got work…”
“I WILL FOIL YOUR SCHEMES, VILE WARLOCK!”
“That I doubt, but I’m eager to see how you try. Let’s begin.”
Parallax placed the spectral blade on the unholy altar as Bludgeoner tied The Interjection to an obelisk. The Baron sprinkled some red liquid in a circle around himself, then began to chant the dark rituals.
“Aggras… tolifas…. Arvelan…”
“YOUR ANCIENT DARK SPEECH ACCENT IS ALMOST AS ABSURD AS YOUR SINISTER DESIGNS, FIEND!”
“Tos vali Kil’Zumall, arvas belias Kil’Zumall”
“EVIL WILL ALWAYS END IN RUIN, YOU KOOKY CLAIRVOYANT!”
“Arved, scho’il…”
“YOUR CABAL…”
“Arved, scho’il… varmas scho’il… Kil’zumall varithras a… SHUT THE FUCK UP.” Baron Tiberon snapped at The Interjection, “wait… where was I?? Oh…”
Indeed, The Interjection had broken the sorcerer’s concentration just as he was specifying the target for the blood sacrifice. An enormous black cloud began to pour into the room from both doors.
“Bludgeoner, you might want to make your exit…”
The cloud materialized into a massive demon. Kil’zumall picked up the blade from the altar and instantly jumped across the room, killing Bludgeoner instantly. He began to walk toward the now terrified warlock.
“No no no no no no no… come on, the pronunciation wasn’t even all that close. I meant ‘shut the fuck up’, not ‘shada faku’. See? Nothing alike! For fuck’s sake, listen to him… you’d be doing the same thing within…”
“HA, SILLY SORCERER, YOUR MACHINATIONS ARE ALL IN VAIN!”
“Interjection, so help me if one of my followers figured how to resurrect me. I will…”
“I’LL BE WAITING, YOU BATTY OLD WIZARD.”
“…Plankton won’t even be able to find any part of you to…” Baron Parallax’ words were cut off, along with his head, which rolled up to The Interjection’s feet. Kil’Zumall turned and approached The Interjection.
“NOW IT’S JUST THE TWO OF US, DEMON LORD. I WILL DEFEAT YOU.”
The abomination paused a moment, likely considering the fact that if he killed the bizarrely confident motormouth standing before him, that there was a good chance that his soul would be permanently bound to him. Kil’Zumall turned and trudged back up to the altar, before disappearing into a cloud of black smoke once more.
Here's the judges' take.
K: This one peaks early. I thought it was going to be the challenge of the week, but instead, it was
just pretty good. This is a bit of a cheat, I suppose, since interrupting people is something that anyone can do, but I was amused enough to give it a break. 4
DK: I laughed almost as much as I did at the pronunciation one, but especially at the “pieced together” line. Dude’s not just non-contextual, he’s Captain Obvious. 5
Huh. I was not really expecting scores that high. After writing a few darker ones, I wanted to write something that was just out and out comedic. Of course, what I ended up with still had plenty of darkness (it does open with all of the superheroes, save our annoying protagonist, torn to shreds and dead), but it captured the feel that I was going for (Like Tapioca, The Interjection is weirdly over-confident and impossibly self-unaware). You can't see it here or in the version on Spooky's site, but The Interjection speaks in Comic Sans typeface. I thought that fitting, but I don't know if that helps or hurts it. It's probably just as well it didn't come through - the shouting was enough. I like "batty old wizard".
The ending kind of sucks. I kept thinking up and rejecting different things that could happen in the end. I almost ended it with Kil'Zumall (heh, Kills 'em all) killing The Interjection out of annoyance, only to have their souls bound together for all of eternity, but rejected it when I couldn't get the wording right.
Either way, it didn't matter. One week after voting out Zack, the person we saved in place of him went and nonsubbed. This is obviously horrible news. JG, how could you, man?? Vogons can't vogon if we've got nonsubs...
This week's challenge was "Seemingly Useless Superpower". In it, a character was to have a superpower that seemed on the outset to be completely useless, only for it to come in very handy. I did pretty well at this one last time.
What about this time? Was I able to top "4 or 5 servings"? Well, that's doubtful, but maybe I did fairly well, anyway. Read on, faithful reader.
The spectral blade sliced effortlessly through the Crimson Crusader, instantly cleaving his boyish, yet devilishly handsome face from his perfectly chiseled torso. With that, Baron Parallax surveyed the scene. The heroes all lay dead – most of them in several pieces.
“Perfect” he said to Bludgeoner, “just in time for the summoning.”
“Boss, there’s another one here. He’s just hiding behind the table.” replied Bludgeoner.
“Bring him to me.”
Bludgeoner shoved the hero toward the Baron.
“And just who might y…”
“I AM THE INTERJECTION!” cried the now-named hero.
“Why were you cowering behind the table. Why would they even bother bringing you if you w…”
“I MAKE NON-CONTEXTUAL COMMENTS AT INOPPORTUNE TIMES!!!”
“Excellent! A speech-themed super. You’re certain that you don’t turn into a hulking behemoth if expos…”
“I HAVE THE POWER OF MAKING NON-CONTEX…”
“Yes, yes… Now, believe it or not, I’m actually glad you showed up today. Bludgeoner and I are going to need a blood sacrifice to properly awaken the demon lord. Your friends are volunteered, but got a little excited and started things early, and Kil’zumall likes his sacr…”
“SUMMONING THE DEMON LORD KIL’ZUMAL, ARE YOU? I’VE PIECED TOGETHER YOUR NEFARIOUS PLOT!”
“Anyway, the urge to murder you is only going up by the second, but we’ve got to wait for the proper time. If you’ll excuse me, I’ve got work…”
“I WILL FOIL YOUR SCHEMES, VILE WARLOCK!”
“That I doubt, but I’m eager to see how you try. Let’s begin.”
Parallax placed the spectral blade on the unholy altar as Bludgeoner tied The Interjection to an obelisk. The Baron sprinkled some red liquid in a circle around himself, then began to chant the dark rituals.
“Aggras… tolifas…. Arvelan…”
“YOUR ANCIENT DARK SPEECH ACCENT IS ALMOST AS ABSURD AS YOUR SINISTER DESIGNS, FIEND!”
“Tos vali Kil’Zumall, arvas belias Kil’Zumall”
“EVIL WILL ALWAYS END IN RUIN, YOU KOOKY CLAIRVOYANT!”
“Arved, scho’il…”
“YOUR CABAL…”
“Arved, scho’il… varmas scho’il… Kil’zumall varithras a… SHUT THE FUCK UP.” Baron Tiberon snapped at The Interjection, “wait… where was I?? Oh…”
Indeed, The Interjection had broken the sorcerer’s concentration just as he was specifying the target for the blood sacrifice. An enormous black cloud began to pour into the room from both doors.
“Bludgeoner, you might want to make your exit…”
The cloud materialized into a massive demon. Kil’zumall picked up the blade from the altar and instantly jumped across the room, killing Bludgeoner instantly. He began to walk toward the now terrified warlock.
“No no no no no no no… come on, the pronunciation wasn’t even all that close. I meant ‘shut the fuck up’, not ‘shada faku’. See? Nothing alike! For fuck’s sake, listen to him… you’d be doing the same thing within…”
“HA, SILLY SORCERER, YOUR MACHINATIONS ARE ALL IN VAIN!”
“Interjection, so help me if one of my followers figured how to resurrect me. I will…”
“I’LL BE WAITING, YOU BATTY OLD WIZARD.”
“…Plankton won’t even be able to find any part of you to…” Baron Parallax’ words were cut off, along with his head, which rolled up to The Interjection’s feet. Kil’Zumall turned and approached The Interjection.
“NOW IT’S JUST THE TWO OF US, DEMON LORD. I WILL DEFEAT YOU.”
The abomination paused a moment, likely considering the fact that if he killed the bizarrely confident motormouth standing before him, that there was a good chance that his soul would be permanently bound to him. Kil’Zumall turned and trudged back up to the altar, before disappearing into a cloud of black smoke once more.
Here's the judges' take.
K: This one peaks early. I thought it was going to be the challenge of the week, but instead, it was
just pretty good. This is a bit of a cheat, I suppose, since interrupting people is something that anyone can do, but I was amused enough to give it a break. 4
DK: I laughed almost as much as I did at the pronunciation one, but especially at the “pieced together” line. Dude’s not just non-contextual, he’s Captain Obvious. 5
Huh. I was not really expecting scores that high. After writing a few darker ones, I wanted to write something that was just out and out comedic. Of course, what I ended up with still had plenty of darkness (it does open with all of the superheroes, save our annoying protagonist, torn to shreds and dead), but it captured the feel that I was going for (Like Tapioca, The Interjection is weirdly over-confident and impossibly self-unaware). You can't see it here or in the version on Spooky's site, but The Interjection speaks in Comic Sans typeface. I thought that fitting, but I don't know if that helps or hurts it. It's probably just as well it didn't come through - the shouting was enough. I like "batty old wizard".
The ending kind of sucks. I kept thinking up and rejecting different things that could happen in the end. I almost ended it with Kil'Zumall (heh, Kills 'em all) killing The Interjection out of annoyance, only to have their souls bound together for all of eternity, but rejected it when I couldn't get the wording right.
Either way, it didn't matter. One week after voting out Zack, the person we saved in place of him went and nonsubbed. This is obviously horrible news. JG, how could you, man?? Vogons can't vogon if we've got nonsubs...
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)